why aren't i in bed?

and could someone tell me why stuart smells so good all the time? shouldn't he have some sort of weird cat funk like every other cat i have ever had? somehow, he always manages to smell like a dryer sheet. who's laundry is he laying in constantly? my recent trip to the landr-o not withstanding, it's sure as hell not mine. it's probably from spending time in abigail's room. but if that's the case, why doesn't princess kitty william ever smell good? he always smells of weird cat funk. and if i somehow scored the world's only sweet smelling cat from the pound, why the hell did someone give him up?

come on stuart, let's go roll around in the bunnies and i'll rub your tummy 'til we're both asleep.