today was as weird as last night. and tonight is...well, more of the same.

(what is it about this newfound online diary experience that makes me feel like doogie howser, md, everytime i watch my thoughts become words filing themselves neatly across the screen? does anyone else have that feeling?)

my hair still smells amazingly good, so that has brought me some consolation.

i finally made it to the laundrymat today. it wasn't nearly as traumatizing as i imagined. this time, my brother and i didn't fight and there were only like 5 other people there. one of which was of a kind that has been a staple at every single laundrymat trip i have made since moving here (that would be twice, for those of you counting. and no, i am not particularly concerned with the fact that twice is not even laughingly close enough to a scientific sample of empiric evidence to call such a person a "staple" of all laundr-o-mat visits.). who is this, you ask? this would be the Very Hot Girl with Large Luscious Breasts in the Skimpy Tank-Top and Tight Knee Length Skirt Doing Her Gross Bro Boyfriend's Laundry girl. I hate these girls. why? is it because i simultaneously want to smack them and/or strip them down and bang them against the nearest washing machine? no. that is why i love them. it is because they are doing their Gross Bro Boyfriend's Laundry.

SIDEBAR: for those of you who are wondering "What the h-e-double hockey sticks is a Bro?" a bro is one of those horrible boys, they wear No Fear T-Shirts, they listen to either Korn, Limp Bizkit or the like, OR they listen to HardCore like (enter any hardxcore band here) and they talk about women like, well, how i sometimes talk about women (see above), but they mean it and that's gross. they drive raised or lowered cars/trucks, they prefer "bros to ho's", are usually from orange county california, though the bro phenomenon is world-wide, i would be willing to wager. they are just called different things, regionally. they are complete assholes and i hope they all die in twisting painful fits whilst circle jerking each other to the refrain of "freak on a leash".

so, while laying on the ground in front of the washing machines my brother and i both oggled this girl who was so hot, well, she was undeniably the kind of girl that gives a bro a wee hard on. and rightly so. because not only do they know this girl is only more than willing to let them touch her in places that she wouldn't let me touch but because they also know she will go the the laundr-o-mat and do their laundry afterwards.

the only consolation i had at this slap in the face (where's my big breasted slut to do MY laundry?)was not only the fact that she had HORRIBLE fake nails on (probably done up the street at the deliciously named Get Nailed manicure shop/tanning salon) but on our way out jon and i caught her sitting in her boyfriend's raised truck (complete with raiders sticker and yosemite sam sticker on the rear window) eating sunflower seeds and spitting the salty slob covered shells out the window in a foul pile next to the cab. which she got to step out onto in her payless shoesource platform shoes.

i love the town i live in, it serves up the most delightful victories.

but i digress.

doing my laundry in public is always a bit unnerving for me. not only do all laundrymats have shit for sitting furniture (they call THAT a bench? pish. PISH I SAY!), but you have nothing better to do but wait for your laundry to get clean. i am too nervous about losing clothes to just leave and do something else (jon thinks this makes me a whacko), so i just sit there, lean against the washing machine (what are those women talking about? i don't find it stimulating at all. pish on that too), watch the minutes count down and then sit and watch my under things dance the mambo until dry. and then the worst part of all: i have to fold my stuff in public. i have to hold out my panties, and manipulate them into drawer ready bits of neatness. i don't mind doing that with my bras all that much, because as i might have mentioned before, they are considerable and god damn me if i'm not proud. but the panties? it's...creepy. especially when the old guy who smells like 1000 cigarettes watches. eugh.

"do them at home, dumbcrap", you might say.

but

i

just

can't.

it would be like...well, it would be like not folding my laundry straight out of the dryer and then shoving them into my portable hamper for the car ride home and then pulling them out cold and wrinkly and then folding them. and that's just not right.

suddenly i've lost all steam on this.

so let's sum up, shall we? i did my laundry, got a girlie hardon at some hoodrat skank, folded my panties while the old man watched and then came home.

the very best part of this? i wore my new shoes the whole time.

i think i'll spring for that gold membership just so i can load a picture for you all to see.

they are the sneakers to end all sneakers.

and if you could see them, you would be jealous.

and to end, my favorite conversation so far this evening:

Ironbiblebelt [10:33 PM]: yeah. heh. so you just. . .stayed home? didn't watch tv or a movie?

Tales of brave [10:36 PM]: i don't have any cable. i haven't felt like a movie in a long time. i have become obsessed with online diaries.

kill me.

Ironbiblebelt [10:37 PM]: i went through my stage too.

Ironbiblebelt [10:37 PM]: i die for movies. only good ones though, i really only watch old movies, independent films (the most), foreign films, or reallygood new ones.

Tales of brave [10:39 PM]: give me a recommendation

Ironbiblebelt [10:41 PM]: my favourites are. . .rocky horror picture show, the dreamlife of angels, run lola run, buffalo '66 (!), the exorcist. . .

Ironbiblebelt [10:41 PM]: life is beautiful.

Ironbiblebelt [10:42 PM]: the opposite of sex is good.

Tales of brave [10:42 PM]: that was a good movie!

Ironbiblebelt [10:42 PM]: you bet it was. and the virgin suicides is good also.

Tales of brave [10:43 PM]: my favorites are henry and june, mystery of rampo, antonia's line, bleu etc etc etc

the virgin suicides was shit.

Ironbiblebelt [10:44 PM]: you die. why did you not like the vs - gummo is great also.

Tales of brave [10:45 PM]: i haven't seen that.

Tales of brave [10:46 PM]: i don't die, i thrive in my opinion that the virgin suicides was shit. BECAUSE IT WAS SHIT

Ironbiblebelt [10:46 PM]: did you think it was the plot, the acting. . .er what?

Tales of brave [10:48 PM]: the plot went NO WHERE. the acting was not the fault of the actors so much as the director and the ONLY good thing about that movie was the involvement of giovanni ribisi as the narrator. that, and the fact that it reminded me of how much i love "so far away" by carol king. and the fact that it reminded me that i want to bang kirsten dunst, even though she is so repellant sometimes.

Ironbiblebelt [10:50 PM]: okay, first - did you finish the movie?

Tales of brave [10:51 PM]: yes