well, all i have to say is, you're all REALLY SORRY i didn't have access to my diary last night.

the things i had to say! the insights! the turns of phrases!

i was witty! i was eloquent! i was sophisticated and fine!

ok...i was tipsy off of tequila. But! i had stories of paul bunyon sized men coming to fix a gas leak at 10pm, my brother passed out in the bunnies from early nineties acid-house (happy mondays, how i miss you) type antics, my sister sleeping all evening only to call her boyfriend at around 1030pm for a booty call, sharing tequila, salt and lime shots, and a small story about the troop of African village musicians that live in my backyard.

BUT YOU MISSED OUT AND NOW YOU ARE ALL WAY BUMMED. better get drunk, friends, because those stories...they're never coming back.

today, however, is a brand new day. and it was a delightfully bizarre day at that.

first of all, let's talk about how i woke up from about 4.5 hours of sleep, completely in a good mood, HUMMING FOR GOD'S SAKE whilst making my morning coffee. i bopped around, stuart dancing a waltz with my legs, mixed in my hazelnut cream junk and sat with my delicious cup of blessed coffee for a full ten minutes this morning. it was a fantastic way to start my day.

then i pulled on my hot new sneakers, wrapped my hair into little buns at the back of my head that would have made bjork swoon, slipped on my sunglasses and bounded out the door with a smile on my face.

when was the last time you were able to do that? me too.

then, i flew down the highway singing along with the three-year-old mix tape i recently found. cigarette in hand, lip gloss shining in the bits of the sun that the clouds let through and belting out the following on my way to work:

long island: that dog
sweet jane: the velvet underground
dirty dream #2: belle and sebastian
pleasant valley sunday: the wedding present (does david g's voice make you dizzy happy too?)
dumb fun: versus
andee wants to impregnate me with � of uncle tupelo: pee
phone call: new radiant storm king
on the mouth: superchunk
open wide: spent
reveille: versus
your king: team xiaoping

i ran up the stairs to work, passed out in the elevator to the third floor(i smoked WAY too many cigarettes this weekend to be running anywhere, let alone up a huge flight of stairs) and on wobbly giddy knees got to my cubicle in fine time.

and the rest of the day was just like that. i even went out to lunch with the Co-Worker who i can't decide whether he likes me and is just teasing or if he hates the shit out of me and just doesn't want to make too much of a big deal out of it (and i feel the same way about him). (vietnamese food, ice water with lemon). but he picked up the tab, so i guess he can't hate me too much. and for picking up the tab i don't hate him too much either.

and so, here comes the best part of the day:

it's raining. RAINING!!!

remember my first two entries about how i was frying eggs on my forehead it was so hot? well, i wasn't bullshitting. it was like 105-106 degrees three days last week. and i've got no air conditioner in my house. and there is a gas heater in my room with a constant pilot light burning (that got fixed until winter last night), so it was at least as hot as it was outside in my room at all times.

but now, a mere 4 days later, it's 61 degrees outside, it's pouring rain. everything smells good, everything sounds good. on the way home from work i stuck my hand out the window and rubbed the rainwater on the back of my neck just to feel alive.

and i do, i feel alive.

so now i am going to go out to eat sushi with my sister and friends and then i'll be back.

and if i feel this good, i may just keep writing.

xoxo

"Shaking towards shelter and vodka on ice
Looking for words to Auld Ang Syne
God grant us grace in working the room
God grant me patience caught in his sight
God grant me patience to just make it
Cocktailed moneymaker
Ice breaking

Your tongue, so close to torture
With everything it seeks
An empty-handed breeze
An empty head it grabs at
As if it could be real
You say you'll leave it up to me

I can't stand how you speak
Or to listen to you sleep"