this weekend was something of a bust. my back has gone plaid in terms of how badly it's been hurting the last few days, and since it feels best when i am drunk (that is, i don't feel anything, so the absence of pain is like mana from heaven), i was drunk pretty much from the time i got home friday until early sunday morning. all day yesterday i stayed in bed, thankful i was out of alcohol, sad that i still had a back.
i am sitting weirdly hunched over because of the pain and i am figeting (i'm not even going to try to spell that right) because if i sit too long in a single position, my back hurts more.
i walked out of my apt building this morning before i realized i forgot to put on my jacket.
and the president made me late, by making the streets around my building blocked.
at first i was excited that there was some disaster and i wouldn't have to go into work, but no, it was just the dumb ol' president.
what is it about pain that makes everything else going on not real, and seem like it's all very far away?
and why is my body falling apart all of a sudden? it seems like every entry i am writing about how i am feeling shitty in one way or another.
i feel ashamed.
