it just erased, somehow, what i was writing to you, so now i have to recap.

first off, i totally rocked, and rolled, my phone interview. so much so that they have asked me back for a face to face interview on tuesday.

the lady was like "there were like 200 applications and yours really stuck out)" and i was like "well, baby, that's because i'm the real deal" and then broke out into some mary j blige and shit.

so, pretty much moving to iowa=terror and heartbreak from day one. moving to seattle=rainbows and unicorns and handjobs from hot boys in grey slacks and free beer.

so far, i have been here a week and i have a new awesome place to live, probably a job (mary j doesn't disappoint and also i have another interview with a different company on monday if this doesn't work out), i have had fun like every day, i have met awesome people (including an awesome dland person), jason is bringing me home an awesome dinner and stuart is wicked happy.

my life is truly rife with awesomeosity.

witness (an artistic expression of the awesomeosity that is my life):

Tales of brave: you, are fucked up.

kafkawastherage: I am kidding!!

Tales of brave: WHATEVER YOU ARE NOT

Tales of brave: I KNOW YOU ARE WICKED RACIST

Tales of brave: BRB

kafkawastherage: okay

kafkawastherage: if you had italicized that it wouldve been more effective

Tales of brave: well

Tales of brave: i didn't think you were WICKED RACIST so much as WICKED RACIST.

Tales of brave: i can't just start throwing around charges of WICKED RACISM. that's hardly fair.

kafkawastherage: haha

kafkawastherage: okay

kafkawastherage: so

kafkawastherage: I was in the kkk

kafkawastherage: what the fuck

Tales of brave: gross!Q

Tales of brave: they have the worst outfits!

kafkawastherage: we all make bad decisions

Tales of brave: white after labor day!

kafkawastherage: I mean, you moved to iowa

Tales of brave: well

kafkawastherage: I was in the kkk

Tales of brave: white everyday if you're in the kkk, i guess.

kafkawastherage: cant you just accept me 4 who I am

kafkawastherage: yeah, dude

kafkawastherage: actually I could never be in the kkk

kafkawastherage: you are right

kafkawastherage: fashion faux paux

Tales of brave: those horrible sheets!

Tales of brave: [shiver]

kafkawastherage: to which I say nah

kafkawastherage: I know

kafkawastherage: I bet they are lik 145 thread count

Tales of brave: no kidding

Tales of brave: like, j-lo would have nothing to do with that shit.

Tales of brave: NOTHING.

kafkawastherage: dude

Tales of brave: dood

kafkawastherage: that is because (something horrible that i WILL NOT REPEAT)

kafkawastherage: but otherwise

Tales of brave: :O

kafkawastherage: hahahaha

kafkawastherage: I could not resist!!

Tales of brave: you can't talk to me lie that!

Tales of brave: IT'S WRONG

Tales of brave: JESUS JENN

Tales of brave: THINK OF YOUR GOD DAMNED CHARACTER!

kafkawastherage: haha

kafkawastherage: dude

kafkawastherage: how long have you known me?

kafkawastherage: like not really that long

kafkawastherage: but

Tales of brave: true

kafkawastherage: you know

kafkawastherage: I have character

kafkawastherage: I MEAN

kafkawastherage: look at the iconz I provide and advertise

Tales of brave: that's true

Tales of brave: and, you capitalize your "i"s, something i don't even bother to do.

kafkawastherage: only someone of true character would be capable of that

kafkawastherage: dude, I dont even know why

kafkawastherage: I cant help it

Tales of brave: you are my gallo sister por vida

kafkawastherage: it is from writing essays and not wanting to deal withthe gay spell check bitching at me for my i's being fucked up

kafkawastherage: we should get that tattooed on our ass

Tales of brave: <3vg<3

Tales of brave: all internet style, too, with the less than three's

Tales of brave: jenn?

kafkawastherage: it is so tech

kafkawastherage: yes?

Tales of brave: i think i should think about getting off the goofballs. i'm starting to get weird.

kafkawastherage: okay

kafkawastherage: Im sorry, I dont get what you are saying, I am operating on less that 4 hours sleep per night for a week

kafkawastherage: and I just had to defend my character

kafkawastherage: I am a little shaken up

Tales of brave: it's ok. have we made up?

Tales of brave: like, we just did the secret vg handshake, right?

Tales of brave: the thing that's so great about "vg" is that it's so close to "vag" and you know how much i love that shit.

kafkawastherage: hahaha

kafkawastherage: yes

kafkawastherage: I have very nearly typed vag several times

kafkawastherage: it is hot

Tales of brave: by the way, i am totally taking "___ is totally hot enough to eat me out"

kafkawastherage: no way!!

kafkawastherage: I cannot just spurt out these brilliant catch phrases

Tales of brave: please? can't you share it with your v(a)g sister?

kafkawastherage: and have them picked up without any kind of monetart compensation

kafkawastherage: dududududue

kafkawastherage: hahaha

Tales of brave: come on!

Tales of brave: pretty please?

kafkawastherage: in between the v and g

kafkawastherage: there is a bat!!!

Tales of brave: no dood

kafkawastherage: I LOVE TRILLIAN

kafkawastherage: yeah, you can use it

Tales of brave: in between the v and the g, there is Anarchy (A)!

kafkawastherage: just because, that was a fucking great

kafkawastherage: hm

kafkawastherage: okay

kafkawastherage: please do it again

Tales of brave: do what?

kafkawastherage: I turned my emoticons off

Tales of brave: oh!

Tales of brave: v(a)g

kafkawastherage: the thing that i m seeing as abt

kafkawastherage: oh that is awesome

Tales of brave: i know

kafkawastherage: I am changing my profile to that

Tales of brave: Vagarchy!

kafkawastherage: HAHA

Tales of brave: damn dood. if i were any cooler, i'd have to be celibate because there is no one cool enough to eat me out.

Tales of brave: not because i hate people like i do now.

kafkawastherage: well

kafkawastherage: sometimes

kafkawastherage: if you really want to just get some

kafkawastherage: you have to make concessions

kafkawastherage: I dont know

kafkawastherage: hey

kafkawastherage: I was just thinking

Tales of brave: we don't negotiate with terrorists, jenn.

kafkawastherage: how I think it is funny

kafkawastherage: haha

kafkawastherage: yes my dear leader

kafkawastherage: but no

kafkawastherage: like

kafkawastherage: once, a girl

kafkawastherage: was hitting on me

kafkawastherage: and like, I am a les magnet

kafkawastherage: because I do not know

kafkawastherage: I have short hair

kafkawastherage: and I am cute

kafkawastherage: and do not make my sexual preference very clear

kafkawastherage: well no

kafkawastherage: cause if I did

kafkawastherage: more girls would hit on me

kafkawastherage: but like

kafkawastherage: well this time

kafkawastherage: I realized

kafkawastherage: OH MY GOD

Tales of brave: hold on for one second.

kafkawastherage: YOU ARE TOTALLY HITTING ON ME

kafkawastherage: CAUSE IVE USED THAT LINE ON A BOY BEFORE

kafkawastherage: OKAY

kafkawastherage: and I wonder

kafkawastherage: if that is how girls flirt with one another

Tales of brave: ok

kafkawastherage: using the same techniques they use on boys

Tales of brave: myabe

Tales of brave: i just pelvic thrust them

kafkawastherage: like, I dont know, I am just wondering about that shit

kafkawastherage: haha

kafkawastherage: that is way effective

Tales of brave: ttally

Tales of brave: unless you're peeing at the same time. i find only *special* people like that.

kafkawastherage: haha

Tales of brave: true, those are the ones i am most interested in, but still

kafkawastherage: *special*

Tales of brave: it's like, 8 out of 10 times i get slapped!

kafkawastherage: dude, I can not ever be peed on

kafkawastherage: I would die die die die

Tales of brave: would you pee on someone else?

kafkawastherage: no, I dont think I could

kafkawastherage: like

kafkawastherage: when

kafkawastherage: you have to pee in the forest

kafkawastherage: if youve ever had to

kafkawastherage: and it will not go out

kafkawastherage: because, there is no toilet beneath you

kafkawastherage: and it just feels wrong

kafkawastherage: plus

kafkawastherage: I hate clean up

kafkawastherage: like, who does the sheets for that shit?

Tales of brave: yeah

Tales of brave: it's sleazy

Tales of brave: you could start easy, rock that shit in a shower

kafkawastherage: like I also feel I could never have anal sex, because

kafkawastherage: I donteven like to poop

Tales of brave: oh jen

Tales of brave: jennn

Tales of brave: it's ok

Tales of brave: you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

kafkawastherage: hahahaha

kafkawastherage: I know

kafkawastherage: I am just

kafkawastherage: saying

kafkawastherage: like

kafkawastherage: it makes me think of

kafkawastherage: reverse pooping

kafkawastherage: I dont know

Tales of brave: HAHAHAH

Tales of brave: REVERSE POOPING

Tales of brave: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

kafkawastherage: hahah

kafkawastherage: that is also why I cant imaigne pushing a kid out

kafkawastherage: like all that pushing

Tales of brave: jenn!

Tales of brave: jesus!

kafkawastherage: makes me think of pooping too

kafkawastherage: hahaha

kafkawastherage: oh jessica

Tales of brave: HAHAHAHAHHA

Tales of brave: you are the best

kafkawastherage: thanks

kafkawastherage: I am just sharing my feelings

kafkawastherage: oh and

kafkawastherage: dude

kafkawastherage: on the subject of sexual deviance

Tales of brave: dood

kafkawastherage: I watched like my frist no hbo porn the other day

kafkawastherage: and like

kafkawastherage: I wanted to cry

Tales of brave: i am am subversive, so hit me with your best shot

kafkawastherage: I could see

kafkawastherage: the

kafkawastherage: hole

kafkawastherage: of their anus

kafkawastherage: and like

kafkawastherage: if

kafkawastherage: someone wanted to

kafkawastherage: a family could live in the space

kafkawastherage: it was so bad

Tales of brave: you just made me spit my beer

kafkawastherage: I do not know

kafkawastherage: hahaha

kafkawastherage: haha, that makes me feel special

kafkawastherage: : F

kafkawastherage: ahaha

kafkawastherage: that face

kafkawastherage: like you know

kafkawastherage: when people fall

kafkawastherage: and their teeth

kafkawastherage: break like that

kafkawastherage: ahahaha

kafkawastherage: oh well

kafkawastherage: I dont know

kafkawastherage: I am not even drunk

Tales of brave: HAHAHAAHHAH

Tales of brave: me either

Tales of brave: hold up, i am working on another diary entry.

kafkawastherage: seriously

kafkawastherage: I am loling

kafkawastherage: awzum

kafkawastherage: am I going to star in it again?

kafkawastherage: like, cause if I do

kafkawastherage: I am thinking you need to make a list of credits

kafkawastherage: like

kafkawastherage: kafkawastherage as played by jennifer hoffman

kafkawastherage: jessica tales of brave played the charcter tales of brave

Tales of brave: ok, i can do that.

kafkawastherage: and credits for your excellent editing techniques

kafkawastherage: and then, you have to dedicate to someone who is dead

the part of kafkawastherage played by jennifer hoffman.

the part of jessica tales of brave played by tales of brave

sweet editing techniques by central-red