i woke up like an hour ago to pee, after having several dreams about sink faucets, the leak in my bathroom ceiling and taking baths with girls in bikinis while drinking airplane bottles of bourbon (i think that last one was thanks to the terry richardson site, not my bladder).

then, randomly, while petting amelia while made made laps around the bathtub (we do that), i realized that i hadn't read achewood for a few days.

and here i am, an hour later, reading the blogs and scolding amelia for knocking shit off my end table that has become my flower display table.

it is never not loud on my street and the alien eyeball that is growing out of my right eyelid is sore.

i am half a mind to call the doctor and scehdule an appointment to have my eyelid sliced open to have an alien-eye-otomy.

i don't know what the other half a mind i am is going on about.

i used a non-abrasive exfoliant before i went to bed and my skin is really soft.

i smell like my green tea linen spray.

i think i am actually asleep even though i got up and peed an hour ago.

johnny knoxville was in my taking baths with bikini girls dream, but i didn't like his sunglasses.