and i'm so so so so cold.

the last few days have been really terrible.

i've cried 3 times in the last 24 hrs.

it's so hard for me to do everything on my own sometimes. i get so tired.

i try so so so hard to be positive and happy and not let obstacles keep me from trying.

but i'm exhausted. i don't have anyone to depend on here.

and while i am learning to like myself more and more, i'm terrified by the fact that for the first time in months i didn't want to get out of bed yesterday.

or the day before that.

my apartment is filthy and disorganized.

there's a hole in my bathroom ceiling that is leaking.

i am trying to take solace in small things, grab my happinesses where i can, find reasons to make myself smile.

but i need help.

and around here, at least, i don't have anyone to turn to.