i am progressing/regressing to hard alcohol again.

GOD BLESS THE HOLIDAYS.

#2--last night, in a fit of drunkeness, i actually took a cab to get cigarettes because i was too drunk to drive, but just drunk enough to over- tip the cab driver and spend enough money to buy like 16 packs of shitty cigarettes that make my fingers smell like chemical toffee no matter how many times i wash my hands, i'm like howard hughs up in this bitch, thanks larry king for making me watch your leonardo dicaprio interview like i care at all about anything that douche has to say if it's not about being all up in giselle vagina, which of course it was not.

i can't express how much i hate larry king, it's like everytime i see him on tv in the breakroom i expect him to pull his face off and a thousand insects shitting a thousand other insects that will fly all over the country like a fit of locusts, shitting other insects, will fly out of his face.

i hate him almost as much as michael douglas.

I KNOW, NOT POSSIBLE.

#3--schwarzes_herz and i decided tonight that if i DO end up taking my trip to the east coast next fall/winter we are going to have the BIGGEST, MOST INSANE pjamma jammy jam, just like in house party 2, but BETTER because my high top fade will be 3x as high as kid's, no play's, shit, no, does anyone know which one of those bitches had the high top fade? does it matter?

the point is--I AM GOING TO BLOW THE MOTHERFUCKER OUT.

i want to meet you. and maybe make out with you.

but definitely dance slow dance with you to "always and forever" with you, and shit yes i know that was house party 1, but dood, were you like me and wanted to see tisha campbell's lil boobies in that flick or what? i know, right?

MARTIN LAWRENCE SEXUALLY HARRASSED HER, BUT I'M ASKING YOU, WOULDN'T YOU? CAN YOU BLAME HIM?

her lips, dood. HOLY SHIT.

#4--also, i decided i am going to see how taking requests for jessica sings goes.

songs already being considered for rendition:

"have a nice day" roxanne shante
"feelin' on your booty (remix)" r kelly
"ignition (remix)" r kelly
"pyt" michael jackson
"supersonic" jj fad
"cool it now" new edition
"candy girl" new edition
"feminine fatt" LONS (that shit WOULD be "sound of the zeekers", my favorite, but damn doods, it's over 5 min. FUCK YOU LIVEJOURNAL. GIVE A SISTER 6 MINUTES, BITCHES.)
"this dj" warren g
"day in the life" kwame
"country grammar" nelly
"skulls" misfits
"love bizarre" sheila e
"i wanna get close to you" rose royce
"it's like that" run dmc

other suggestions?

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HEAR?

please, be awesome.

#5--I WANT EGGS BENEDICT SO FUCKING BADLY. SHIT DAWGS, ONLY 3.5 HRS BEFORE THE DINER OPENS.

later:

ugh.

question: am i smoking again?

answer: only when drinking.

real answer: if p, then q: (let's make it formal logic, because that makes me hot, and it's 415am and i need to feel hot. my life is ass, so:)

P--->Q
P
.'. Q

p=if jessica drinks
q=jessica will want to (and will, probably) smoke

real value of above argument=i'll probably smoke everynight now.

why can't anyone hang out with me and give me tons of blow? then i'll feel awesome about smoking, and probably will cease to care about anything at all.

ugh, i hate myself.

ps: fuck you, music, i am only ever listening to early 90s yo mtv raps greatest hits, as determined by me, from now on.

and also, if you know about metal, school me. because all of a sudden? i want to know.