after having almost a full day to adjust to the curve ball that's been thrown my way, i feel a bit more calm.

what's at issue here, i think, is how much i believe in myself.

there's never been anything that i have decided to do, i mean really decided to do, that i haven't accomplished.

there's a lot for me to deal with, a lot for me to straighten out here.

thinking about everything at once is really overwhelming and makes me feel just so small and powerless.

but no one, not even the best people, can do everything all at one time.

so, what i have to do is take one thing at a time, and with that one thing, make a plan.

and i can't be perfect, but i can certainly try to be better.

i need to find my journal (the paper one) and start making lists.

it's just so hard doing everything alone.