i just picked up amelia and hugged her and pressed my face into her soft soft fur

and she smells like my bed, sweet tea and apricots

and lovely lovely lovely purring is the best no-sleep-afternoon salve there is.

in other news, i got my haircut today and now i am satiated. i feel pretty and my hair is the best kind of soft curls and this afternoon at the cafe the server with the hot neck ink, i think he was making eyes at me

and jason was making me laugh so hard, i felt so good, i didn't feel embarrassed when my laughter got loud enough to get caught up ella's voice, flying off the windows and maybe under the door

i have been spending the last few days trying against logic to want to be someone else, or look different than i do, so dissatisfied and sad

but today things have righted themselves again and my skin is the only place i want to be.

sweet tea and apricots, a silk quilt and soft velvet pillows for my feet

i want licorice tea with honey for dinner tonight, and everything fresh, baby spinach and pears and apple slices raw, crunch crunch crunch