2002-12-22 & 12:38 a.m. : 1243am

i stayed in bed all day today, and was a terrible host.

he said he didn't mind but he deserved better.

when i walked to the news stand today i felt a bit lighter, the air was really cold, there were people running down the streets getting ready for the def leppard concert, i almost got hit by a car both times i crossed the street.

i talked to the lady at the news stand for a while, i wanted to know about her day.

they came and took my couch and recliner today, now the living room just has boxes and a coffee table in it.

we watched a movie and half the time i just watched stuart through the doorway, he was laying down like i was.

i am not a normal person, i am full of quietness and fear. i can't look people in the eye.

i am shy beyond all help.

i feel shame about this. i am sorry.