last night i collapsed in bed at 630 and slept until 20 til 11. then i showered and did a lot of WhatNot (this is my new favorite term. it doesn't even have a definition, not yet at least. we'll let use give it definition. much like my other new pet phrase, "and such," i am using it at every opportunity in an effort to change for no other reason than to entertain myself).

then around 1230 mandy came over and we went to the store to pick up food for jon's birthday dinner tonight.

note: even though my brother is my best friend in the whole entire world, i don't know what kind of cake is his favorite cake, so we got my favorite cake, which is yellow. yellow with chocolate frosting. my birthday is in april, people, so you might want to jot that down for future reference.

yellow with chocolate frosting.

i think we are just going to hang out and eat lasagna and drink wine and quietly celebrate the 21st anniversary of the birth of jon, whom i didn't even like for the first 15 years of his life. i distinctly remember being in a state of complete disbelief that they brought home YET ANOTHER SCREAMING SMALL THING when clearly they had lost their minds taking home my sister.

that i was not enough to give them ample joy is something that i have not completely recovered from. it was simply beyond the scope of my first grade mind that in me they did not find everything that they needed in a child. true, this is probably more complex than i really could have been attributed to have been thinking at the time, but i think you can imagine the proper bewildered tone of the following, which should be imagined whined in the longest, most annoyed/annoying tone possible:

whhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

little did i realize at 6 that my brother's appearance would, in some ways, save me quite a lot of grief later on during my father's most insane and tyranical years. safety in numbers and all that. also, there were more than a couple of times that, having been given chore #234523452087290873485723945204a to do, i simply told my brother that my dad had told me to ask him to do it, something that was not uncommon and which was believed without question. it was a moot point really, given the fact that my brother never did any chores, really. still doesn't. but the fact of the matter was, i wasn't going to do it, he wasn't going to do it, it just wasn't going to get done. this way, however, my brother was going to be the one who suffered, not me, and since this was long before we became the tremendously close friends we are today, i couldn't have cared less.

but this is all water under the bridge, as they say, and i doubt my brother knows the extent to which this went on anyway. before you get all up in arms thinking i was a terrible sister, let it be known that the amount of times i spent many middle of the night hours doing chores and smoothing things out for both my brother and sister so they wouldn't be awoken at 3am to my father screaming at them are more than i can remember. i regularly protected the both of them from his bizarre and psychically violent behavior, so i don't feel all that bad about the above. i don't feel good about it either, though. probably best to forget about it.

so tonight, we feast and saturday we drink, the plan being to go to san francisco on bart, go to a bar and drink, go to a fabulous dinner at __________, go to a bar and drink, repeat. then hop the bart home on the last train to the east bay. how we are going to safely get from the station back to our house has yet to be worked out, though.

man alive, i am tired. i didn't fall asleep again until 3 or so, and i got up this morning at 630 as usual. i need some coca cola or something. since no one's here, maybe i'll take a nap.

mmm, that sounds good.

also, i just finished the chapter on sonic youth, and while i wasn't as excited about them when i finished as i thought i would be, they are still my favorite band in this book, musically. i haven't gotten to the djr chapter yet, though.

but, personality-wise, the minutemen are my hands down favorite.