that doesn't mean i don't want to touch your ass. badly.

i am sitting here and i am reading, and i am having a 1996 moment, listening to sleater kinney, thankful for audio galaxy.

and i am a little twisted up, recognizing how much things are tying their little loose strings up and then going away

and i am going to pull all my strings together and go away

and then i will be in this whole other place.

it's so exciting, and weird, and kind of good and kind of sad

and it occurs to me, i wish i were tangled around someone, whispering in their ear,

"but i don't know what i'm doing,"

and then this other person, this warmth and something else, they could whisper back,

"me neither.

but that means we can do anything."

so i just kind of wrap my arms around my shoulders

and i whisper to myself

"but i don't know what i'm doing, for real,"

and i'll just pretend like i can hear the anything and feel the something else