no it did not.

so, my only recourse now is to just go to bed early (or try to) and listen to a bunch of nick drake, and daydream (maybe night dream?) about the place i long to inhabit, the softness of light there, the kindness of words, the warmth of arms, the sighing of being where you belong.

and i will watch the shadows climb and fall along my wall, and listen to the cars drive by

and wrap myself up in sheets in the bed i haven't made all week

and will myself out of this very bad day.

i will wake up in the morning and i'll get my damned pedicure and then i'll come home and do my damned laundry and i'll clean my apt and i'll wait for my brother to arrive.