i had a dream about joey.

jon and abbey and i were going out onto the porch, and he was coming up the walk, in a peacoat and a beanie. i wasn't wearing my glasses, but i could tell it was him.

and i sat down at the top of the stairs where always do and he sat down at the top of the stairs where jon always does.

and he says "jessss, i need your help" and leans his head on me.

and immediately, i'm freaking out, so i push him up off me and say, "look, i'm not trying to start shit, but do not touch me"

but he leans on me again and says he needs my help again.

i push him up off me again and he says "i need a place to stay"

so, i ask him what's up, but he's mumbling and i can't hear him,

and then tries to lean on me again

but i try to push him up this time and i can't see his face so good because i don't have my glasses.

but he pushes me down, and he's holding me down on the porch and jon and abbey are gone and i am screaming for jon, but he can't hear me and joey's so strong and he's on top of me and shaking me and trying to get me to listen to him but i can't hear him.

and then i just woke up, but i was at the end of the bed, and i was kicking and i could hear myself moaning "get the fuck OFF ME"

and i just felt so helpless and i was terrified.