i couldn't help it, though.

seriously! it wasn't my fault.

when i got on the freeway, up ahead not too far, in plain view of the whole world, and i mean completely huge and gaudy like rip taylor, but inaminate and without confetti was

a rainbow.

but not just any rainbow.

no.

the Best Rainbow I Have Ever Seen.

i'm serious, dood, it was the biggest, greatest, most amazing rainbow i have ever seen in my life. it was like, i don't know, 80 miles high and about 40 miles wide, at least. i'm not kidding. it was the size of probably the whole coast of california. Huge!

and it was like, so close.

and then, all of a sudden, there was a Little Buddy Best Rainbow I Have Ever Seen next to the big huge castro Best Rainbow I Have Ever Seen.

but it was only there a fleeting second and then the Little Buddy Best Rainbow I Have Ever Seen was gone.

but i kept driving, all slow, and really dangerously, considering i was merging into rush hour traffic at the time, it was just the coolest thing ever.

i could have been being influenced by the fact that i was listening to what may be the most heavily rainbowed band ever, belle and sebastian, at the time. i mean, you might as well put on leather chaps without underwear and ride a razor scooter along noe if you like belle and sebastian because they are probably one of the most homosexual bands ever. you know, in a good way.

in a buttless chaps way.

or like, when prince wore those yellow pants to the mtv awards, and the buttcheeks were cut out.

good!

anyway, back to the Best Rainbow I Have Ever Seen. it was awesome, totally awesome. and contrary to what people think, at the end of the Best Rainbow I Have Ever Seen is not a pot of gold, but the lafayette bart station.

i know! crazy, right!

after i passed under/through the Best Rainbow I Have Ever Seen, it's like the whole world opened up, and traffic disappeared and i actually hit 80 mph on my way to work. that's like, opposite day it's so insane!

oh man, opposite day.

anyway, i don't really have anything good to say otherwise. i just had to talk about the Rainbow. seriously, it was so sweet, i felt like a little kid who runs through sprinklers in summer.

i know. sometimes i make so little sense i don't follow me, either.

finally, i'd just like to say

I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!