then he asked me to burn a cd of boards of canada for him while he pet stuart.

and then promptly fell asleep on my newly made bed.

i spent the last 5 minutes watching him sleep and my heart was full. he places his hands on his chest. he looks content, but isn't smiling.

when i woke him to have him go to his bed before he got too far into sleep he grinned and rubbed my neck as he wordlessly walked past me and out of my room. he called me sweetheart and wished me a good night before he closed my door.

we spent the night talking about choice and existentialism while smoking cigarettes. we talked about the difficult choices the way that we conduct our lives gives us.

we talked about how there is no other way. we talked about how empathy/sympathy often pulls us in opposite direction as logic and critical thinking. we talked about how the pain of this, and how there is no escape from it.

we both expressed gratitude for the times the two coincide.

we talked about the anger that our position brings from other people, the sadness it often brings us, the freedom as well.

we talked about difference in kind and difference in degree.

i am reading narcissus and goldmund at his recommendation. he is reading existentialism and human emotions at mine.

he will read 100 yrs of solitude. i will read the new murakami.

we will drink wine and sit inside each other's spaces.

we will talk about my return to oakland. about what home means.