2001-08-20 & 2:57 p.m. : i've got a broken face
today at lunch, while i was waiting at the counter of the cafe across the street, i was being stared at by a man sitting at a nearby table.
today at lunch, while i was waiting at the counter of the cafe across the street, i was being stared at by a man sitting at a nearby table.
well, more correctly he was staring, meaningfully, at the book in my hand. he kept looking at it, then looking up at me, trying to catch my attention i think. but i wouldn't let him, i couldn't meet his gaze.
i just nervously shifted on the balls of my feet and stared at my shoes, and then intently at the floor while i walked by him to sit down and eat.
it seems unfair of me to long for someone to reach me, when i can't bring myself to perform even the most basic social mechanics.
i wanted to, and i tried to, but if i had looked up and he smiled at me, i would have tried to smile back, and i think it would have broken my face in two.
