last night i had the worst dreams. i dreamt i was at my parents' house, that i was living there, and i was hanging out with my my mother in the family room, which actually looked a lot like the living room in my old lake merritt apt. with the low black table and hinky sofa and such.

and out of nowhere these two big, no, let me rephrase that, BIG bugs come flying around and one gets into my nice new winter hat (best friend, when you see it you're gonna die) and my mom is plotzing and having an attack, and i am screaming like a maniac.

but, i pull myself together, pull off my hat and start whacking it with all my strength against the table. and all this weird goo starts bleeding through my hat (ewwwwww), but the thing is still buzzing about in the hat, which has stretched out to some weird long, rasta-big beanie thing and it's just freaking gross. more and more goo is coming out, meanwhile, we don't know where the other one was, it was like, flying into the ceiling and into walls and things. these bugs looked like ENORMOUS lady bugs, but mutated mean lady bugs, with big nasty tails and not at all nice like lady bugs are.

and so i look in my hat and the bug's still kinda moving around, but all of a sudden i'm brave so i picked it, the now empty of yet covered in goo bugthing and start to investigate. i kinda crack it open and look inside and the head/spine part is still wiggling around but the body's empty. so gross.

so i took one of my mom's clogs (awwww guys! my mom's clogs!) and smashed the fucker into a thousand pieces, and mooshed the head/spine thing.

sidebar: WHOAH i just heard my boss say "they tried to jew us down" when talking about a client that she doesn't want to work with. WHOAH MY BOSS SAID THAT. that is not ok with me. and this sucks most because it was the boss i liked best.

now i've lost my train of thought. oh yeah, nasty bug.

um, we couldn't find the other bug and ran into the garage.