2002-01-15 & 11:37 p.m. : wipe my surfaces clean
sometimes i get the biggest urge to just shut doors and lock them tight.
sometimes i get the biggest urge to just shut doors and lock them tight.
forget about the person on the other side and destroy their presence from my life.
and i know that this probably seems contradictory to those who know me best; i usually forgive trespasses more than i should,
always willing to give someone i really care about the chance to be fully the them i know them to be.
but it's true.
sometimes, seemingly without reason, i get the biggest urge to forget a face, to push it out of my life and wipe all traces from my surfaces, like a film that has covered a clear window in a steaming kitchen or the way a child will wipe a kiss off their cheek.
and maybe my urge to do this is responsible for my fear that people i care about will do it to me.
