and i got all riled up and ready to hammer out a response

and then, i lost steam

i was covered in a kind of grey covered film that was not depression or depression-induced, but more likely the result of getting old

and in this gauze-like film i thought to myself, "why bother?"

not because i thought the person would not take the time to consider what i had to say, because i am almost certain that she would.

and not because i don't think my position is a thoughtful one.

maybe it was just because i got 3.5 hrs of sleep

but part of me understands that people come to refine their positions over time. and that my pointing out what i have to say will not do anything but get them all twisted up.

or maybe it's because she chose to post what she did in her diary and not as a platform upon which to run for office. if anything, that's a great place to be vitriolic and counter-productive and intelligent and unbending and forceful.

and probably because pointing out to someone who has the guts and piss and vinegar to post the kind of things that she did that really, it could be argued (and i think possibly vey successfully) that the end to which herself and her foes were aiming were the same, is an awkward thing. and more than that, their reasoning was also so similar as to be uncomfortable, is even more awkward.

and that the only real difference between was a chasm so huge, the one of fundamental beliefs about the world, its inhabitants and the seat of worth within human beings, that to think that all the piss and vinegar in the world was going to do anything is a misplacement of focus and energy that is really acting as a disservice to any kind of resolution to the issue at hand. well, maybe today just isn't the day for that kind of neck-sticking-out.

i can't say i am done sticking my neck out or being a pain in my friends' asses, but today, i'm just not up to it.

instead, i'd rather sip on hawaiian punch and sprite and look at the corn field next to my building.

instead, i would like to say that i really love it when ladies wear stirrup pants. more than that, i really love when they wear stirrup pants with no socks and "business flats", because that's really classy.

also, there are all these boys running around the floor today and like half of them are hot. i have no idea what they are doing here, but i am glad they are.

and also, the really hot executive whose office is right across the walkway from my cube has walked out and smiled at me THREE TIMES today.