there is a certain extreme and almost definitely unhealthy pleasure that i get from plucking my eyebrows.

it's an entire process, you see. first, i put it off for as long as possible, letting the mixture of dread at the inevitable pain and the massive depression of having my eyebrows fill in until they are of brooke shieldsian ala pretty baby proportions be my motivator.

then, i set myself up at my desk in front of my computer with something appropriately distracting playing. tonight, it was fight club with the commentary running. oh edward norton, david fincher and brad pitt, how i love thee(s).

then, i set about the actual task of plucking with maniacal and surgical precision. unless you have ever plucked your eyebrows, or maybe unless you have ever been insane about plucking your eyebrows, you cannot understand what a difference the plucking of a single eyebrow hair makes to the shape of the brow, and therefore the shape of your eye. AND THEREFORE THE OVERALL AESTHETICALLY PLEASING EXPERIENCE THAT IS YOUR FACE. fags know this, i know this, you should know this too.

depending on how popped i feel about the project, this can take all night. it is one after the other, right side then left side, right side then left side. do you understand what a cross it is to bear for me, as an eyebrow specialist, that the human body is asymmetric? this means that the optical cavities are not identical. i have to account for this with each pluck. thank god i know my face as well as i do. THANK YOU OBSESSIVE JUNIOR HIGH YEARS WITH THE STARING AT MY FACE FOUR HOURS A DAY! were it not for the torture that was years 11 12 and 13, i probably would not be the master of eyebrow landscaping that i am today.

the best part, probably, is the moment i decide i am finished, for i know i will not have to suffer the pain again for awhile. then i gaze lovingly at my pink and swollen, but beautifully bare, eyebrow area, the perfectly sculpted hair that remains my prize.

now that i have a digital camera, i often snap a few shots of my eyes, so i may review them at a later date, much like a coach after a football game, seeing where i made good and bad decisions.

ah, for the first time in days i feel utterly satisfied, and completely energized. good thing it's almost 5 am and that i have an interview in less than 12 hours. hmmm...twelve hours...that's a long time. if i sleep for even 6 of those hours i will be fine. hooray!

in other news, if you follow that link for brad pitt and read that old entry, you will notice that i mention wanting to bang bam margera. well. in some of the research that i sometimes do for these entries i found bamargera.com and let me tell you, my desire to make sweet sweet love to him is gone forever. SO GRODY! that gothic-y rock star thing is not attractive at all.

he was so much hotter when he was beating up his dad on jackass.

it's all so sad.

in other news, i found a log on live journal that i actually like, and this is a first. perhaps i will have to widen my horizons.

i just wish that people on diaryland would use the term "johnson-tube" more.

is that so much to ask?