to zeus and alla and my grandpa and all the other beings sipping bombay sapphire martinis in that big swingers bar in the sky, i'd like to pose the following small, but, at least to me, significant question:

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

i just came back from lunch and on my way down the street to get some vietnamese (coincidentally, the site where this may happen), i was woo'd at not once, BUT TWICE.

one of the "WOO!"ers actually combined the "woo" with the as yet unpatented finger point+wink gesture. I just kinda looked around to see to whom he was shooter mcgavining and when i saw no one but myself kinda just crinkled up my forehead and then shrugged. but then another driver did it, and i started to look to see if there was a hole in the ass of my pants revealing my favorite pair of knickers (olive green, high on the hips, real soft). but no.

the ONLY thing i could come to was that the new tank top i am wearing underneath my shirt is keeping my knockers pulled up and in nicely...but really, does that deserve two woo's in a row? it's not like i was pole dancing with the traffic light or anything, i was just standing, waiting for the light to change while blocking out the world as best i could with my dj headphones.

so i walked into the dark restaurant a little dazed, sat down, had a nice filling lunch (spring rolls, lemongrass chicken and a tall water with lemon) and contemplated what the hell was going on.

was there a new order in the universe?

am i really emitting some strange sex funk that heretofore had been dormant in the pores of my skin? this is unlikely, as imagine how strong this funk would have to be to elicit a response from those passing in cars. it's improbable that i am emitting a funk of such strength, but still have not, as of yet, been mounted by any woodland animals or neighborhood pets.

are breasts, when properly pulled in and up, REALLY this powerful?

i was still tossing around a few ideas as i finished my lunch, entertaining a couple different theories, some of which would require a projector and laser pointer to expose here, when i noticed the hot Systems Tech with the sideburns sitting at the restaurant bar.

confident from my recent, even though confusing, "woo!"s i straightened my posture and raised my usually pointed down face and walked out the restaurant, checking out of the corner of my eye to see if perhaps my rack or my pheromones attracted his attention.

but...nothing. it seems as though the universe righted itself within the space of 27 minutes.

i did see him in the elevator, though, while surrounded by 7 other people, kinda smashed in the corner waiting for my floor. and i did see him look at me in the wall mirrors of the elevator, but with so many people around i figured it might be dangerous to try and will the (possibly real) pheromonal funk in such a small enclosed area. so i just kinda raised my eyebrow and bit my lip and stared at the floor counter until my floor, where i bolted out of the crowded elevator and cruised back to my cubicle.

and now i am just a bit confused and...nope. i'm just confused.