2002-04-18 & 9:14 p.m. : i see myself the real way; what you see, it's a fabrication

i just took my favorite picture of myself, ever.

and, it's the most accurate, i think.

all you can see are my eyes, and my fingers rubbing one of them, because i am tired.

i know that doesn't sound like much, but it's the closest pic i have to what i feel on the inside and what i picture i look like on the outside.

the best part, though, is that you can see the dirt under my nails.

it's so right.

i know you're probably confused why i am talking about it and not showing it.

but this is for private consumption only.

if i believed in souls, i'd probably say this one caught mine in it's little digital hands, and that's not something i want everyone to see.

it'd be like tipping my hand.

if you saw this pic, you'd know everything, inside and out.

and like i've been told before, i'm a hard person to get to know.