first job: if we're talking first one where a paycheck comes in my name, that would have to be teacher's aid at my hebrew school. i think i was 14 or something.

first screen name: geneusface

first self purchased album: i believe it was "non-stop erotic cabaret" by soft cell, when i was like 7.

i had no idea what "non-stop erotic cabaret" meant.

i only figured it out last week.

first funeral: jason's father's, during that strange at-home-period after graduation.

first piercing/tattoo: ears when I was 8. i remember we went to the pool after and i was afraid that if i jumped in my earrings would rip out of my head. so i jumped in covering my ears...

for the next 3 days until my sister dove in without in jury.

first credit card: those blasted tables on campus got me...i didn't think i'd be approved for a cc, so i applied to two, a visa and a mastercard.

they both arrived the same day.

first true love: the first person i said "i love you" to was cathy. but, when i said "i love you" to michael it felt entirely different. i'm pretty sure cathy wasn't really love.

most days i believe michael was, though.

first enemy: though i had my normal girl experiences in grade school, my first REAL enemy was chelsea, when i was in 9th grade.

she hated me because i wore doc martens and she didn't think i was punk enough.

you have to remember here, when i was in 9th grade, it was before nirvana and "the yr that punk broke". people didn't dye their hair or wear docs or any of that crap that everyone and their mom does today, unless they were trying to really identify with something different.

chelsea used to fuck with me so bad that i'd start shaking halfway through fourth period, knowing that at lunch i was going to be messed with.

eventually, 3 things happened:

#1--i started working in the office during lunch, because otherwise i was going to have nervous breakdowns.

#2--my friend kerri, the punk rock queen of my town, started making big public strides to make sure that everyone knew she thought i was cool.

#3--this is the one that i really think resolved the issue. my friend shara, the most acerbic, snotty, brit-pop lovin' east coast jew you've ever seen laid down the law one day. apparently chelsea was shara's friend and she depended on shara and her luxury sedan for a ride home everyday.

so one day shara had a little conversation with chelsea, advising her to leave me the fuck alone or else she could hoof it home everyday.

and like that, i was out of the office and into the fresh lunchtime air again.

last i heard, chelsea was a heroin junkie.

i am merely an alcoholic.

i think we both know who won that battle, don't we friends.

first big trip: when i was six yrs old my dad and i flew to nj for my cousin sara's bat mitzvah. beforehand, my father bought me a stuffed pegasus to take with me on the trip. i think i named him arthur. i remember my dad had just quit smoking and we sat in the non-smoking section of the plane. BECAUSE THERE WERE STILL SMOKING SECTIONS TO PLANES. WHAT THE FUCK.

and i remember during the in flight movie, which was some adult thing and could not hold my attention for love or money, my father and i played go fish. and he kept asking the flight attendant to bring us bread rolls to eat.

eventually she just gave us a bag of them. i don't know, dood, they were good i guess.

when we were in nj, it had snowed, though i didn't get to see it snow. and during my cousin's bat mitzvah reception, all i wanted to do was go play in the snow, because i was from so cal and had never played in snow.

so, finally, after much begging, i got to go play in the snow. but no one came to play with me. so, i just threw snowballs at the windows until i got yelled at and then i had to come inside.

my dad was unbelievably sweet to me on that trip.

first concert: beastie boys and run dmc--the together forever tour. i was 13. dood. DOOD. best first concert EVER. i dare you to beat me on that.

i'll even top you one: my mom, my nanny and my best friend all went together. when we were driving to the show, right as we got to the greek, a black jaguar pulled in front of us and who did it have in it??? RUN DMC. that's right.

so, i did what i thought i was supposed to do and started screaming and pointing. and jam master jay looked back from the backseat and waved and smiled and tipped his kangol to me.

HE TIPPED HIS KANGOL TO ME.

i love you jam master jay. rip.

facts: that was the first time i smelled marijuana.

that was the first time, too, i saw a girl spanked on stage: mca had pulled a girl up out of the audience during one of the songs, i think brass monkey, and she bent over one of the stacks and he said "look at that ass!" and smacked it.

and i was thoroughly confused.

first musician you remember hearing in your house: miles davis, i believe. or the beatles. probably both.

from my dad i got an appreciation for jazz and classical, from my mom, the beatles and 70s disco.

i was very lucky.

last big car ride: from iowa to oakland to seattle with my brother. so much fun! crap!

last kiss: i cannot bear to think about this.

i can't even remember how to kiss anymore.

last library book checked out: i don't know. i just got a card from the library a few blocks from my home, but i haven't checked anything out yet. mostly i did it because i want to get the my so called life series and watch it all. ALL.

the last book i bought, though, was infinite jest. i am terrified just looking at it.

last movie seen: good will hunting, with the commentary.

i have a weakness for matt damon and boston irish catholic doods. ok?

don't judge me.

last beverage drank: i am drinking hot lemon/honey tea with extra honey because my throat's sore.

last food consumed: stone wheat crackers before bed last night.

last phone call: my brother, last night, so he could tell me about the rachel's show and also say goodnight.

last cd played: a mix i made for myself last night, called "my days".

i am listening to it now.

last annoyance: yesterday=the day of the adversarial customer.

last soda drank: does carbonated grapefruit juice count as pop? it wasn't sweetened all to hell or anything. if it does, that's it.

last ice cream eaten: delicious amazing mint chocolate chip gelato from pagliaccis. god damn it, it's good.

last time scolded: yesterday, for not researching something properly and therefore getting into a big mess with a customer, having her scream and curse at me and hang up. i went and told a supervisor what happened and he scolded me gently, then said he had to smack my hand so i would never do it again.

so i held my hand out and closed my eyes.

he smacked it.

i wish he had smacked it just a bit harder.

last shirt worn: still wearing now--my soft, thin ratted up black long sleeve t that i usually wear while painting. i sleep in it often. i loooooooooove it.

last website visited: pichunter.com/momsgettinghumpedbysomeyoungdood.html