the best thing i have been able to come up with is any time someone comes over to my cube and tries to talk to me or give me a new task, i will not even acknowledge them except to put my hands in a tee-pee above my head and shout

I'M IN THE TENT!

DO

NOT

TALK TO ME

I AM IN THE TENT!

and then ignore them further.

today started out SO TOTALLY GREAT because i went to my big closet of cds and grabbed five cds with the following criterion:

nothing i had listened to in the last 6 months to a year. or, if i couldn't remember the last time i listened to it, it that would suffice.

so i grabbed:

"you'd prefer an astronaut" by hum

"live at cold rice" by the make-up (because it reminds me of my girl)

"imperial ffrr" by unrest

"bet the sky" by lois

and

"lonesome crowded west" by modest mouse

and i was excited.

BUT

not as excited as i was when i opened my live at cold rice to find, in addition to said cd, MY AWESOME HIP HOP COMPILATION FROM NO SHAME SUMMER!!!!!!!!

oh my god people. no shame summer. the summer i got full on into jud jud. the summer i embraced mtv rap. the summer i looked for a job FOR THREE MONTHS AFTER GRADUATION and basically bummed around and did fuck all.

the summer of the conception of The Best Worst Music Ever Compilation CD.

ahhhh, No Shame Summer.

during this summer, i gave up all claims to music elitism. period. you will understand this more in a minute.

so, in lieu of this, because i think it will be far too stressful for me, i will give you a run down of My Awesome Hip Hop Compilation From No Shame Summer

or, what i actually titled it,

All Respect Goes to Those That Break They Neck Tryin' ta Keep They Ho's in Check

TRACK ONE: "Back in One Piece" aaliyah and dmx.

-best track one moment: the number of "arf"s in the song. i mean come on! he's a grown man!

-interesting track one fact: aaliyah is dead now. i would have sex with dmx. i would also have sex with aaliyah. but you know, before she died. not now. that's gross.

TRACK TWO: "Breathe and Stop" q-tip.

-best track two moment: how nonchalant he sounds during the chorus. the way he says "for real?"

-interesting track two fact: first single from q-tip's solo album. i want to have sex with q-tip so badly, i actually salivate when i see him.

TRACK THREE: "Flava in Ya Ear" craig mack.

-best track three moment: the loop in the background is too pretty. the beginning chatter where i think method man is talking about craig's bit in "that mary joint", which must be mary j blige, whom i worship.

-interesting track three fact: i can't think of any. therefore: n/a

TRACK FOUR: "This DJ" warren g.

-best track four moment: "the streetlights just came on and my momma's in the streest tellin' me to come home; i hit the gate and hops on my schwiiin, and i tell my homies "aight 'den""

-interesting track four fact: the above line is pretty much the only reason why i like the song. i can't help it, it's the way he says "schwiiin".

TRACK FIVE: "Let Me Ride" dr. dre

-best track five moment: too many to list, but the very beginning with that "BI-YOTCH!" is prety good, and mostly dre bringin' it through out, you know what i'm sayin'?

-interesting track five fact: the Dr. Dre Behind the Music rivals the Boy George Behind the Music as my ALL TIME FAVORITE BEHIND THE MUSIC

TRACK SIX:"I Get Around" 2pac.

-best track six moment: shock g from the digital underground saying "i'm shock g, the one who put the satin on your panties" and 2pac saying "all respect to those who break they neck to try to keep they ho's in check; because they sweat a brother majorly, and i don't know why your girl keeps paging me" too fucking pretty.

-interesting track six fact: seeing this video was the first times in which i got totally hot over thug tattoos. it is also pretty much the last time.

TRACK SEVEN: "Tennessee" arrested development.

-best track seven moment: it's just a real good song. seriously, who doesn't like this song?

-interesting track seven fact: it doesn't tear up a great song by sly and the family stone. ahem.

TRACK EIGHT: "Just Another Day in the Life" kwame.

-best track eight moment: other than the loop/chorus, the line "break out the peanut butter, because they're jelly" "what's that?" "what, haven't you guessed? take out the double L-Y and add A-L-O-U-S" that, my friend, is too pretty.

-interesting track eight fact: my brother knows every word.

TRACK NINE: "Feminine Fatt" leaders of the new school.

-best track nine moment: pretty much, this song is all around too fucking smooth, but busta rhymes saying "i like the fat that's miraculous, superbubbleliscious and voluptuous" and "is it the food or is it natural weight? REGARDLESS BABY, the fat looks great". this song owns it.

-interesting track nine fact: my brother and i listened to this song and sound of the zeekers 58 times once. in a row. or some other comparably large number. no one counts those things.

TRACK TEN: "Slam" onyx.

-best track ten moment: there isn't one, really, i think the rapping's pretty mediocre, but the music in the background was pretty good. and like, it was No Shame Summer, afterall.

interesting track ten fact: no one cares about onyx anymore. if they ever did.

TRACK ELEVEN: "Big Pimpin'" jay-z.

-best track track eleven moment: "i cut and i keep 'em, until i need to nut... and then it's beep beep,and i'm pickin' 'em up, let 'em play with my dick in the truck" "ho! get yo ass in!"

-interesting track eleven fact: the video for Big Pimpin' is one of my all time fantasies. i cannot WAIT to go to the carribean so i can pour champagne on some slut in a thong. fuck yes. pretty much the theme song for No Shame Summer.

TRACK TWELVE: "Let's Ride" q-tip.

-best track twelve moment: the django rheinhardt-ish loop. i killed the spelling of that. woops. q-tip breaking down his musical versatility by name-dropping the following among his jeep bumpin' music: "listen to the cds i play inside--mos def,..., prince, and stevie, marvin gaye, led zeppelin and biggie". see, q-tip's "ecclectic"

-interesting track twelve fact: i want to have sex with q-tip so badly, i actually salivate when i see him. still.

TRACK THIRTEEN: "Children's Story" slick rick.

-best track thirteen moment: "that unkle ricky is really weird" the whole damn song. i will give a fat lip to anyone who says this song is NOT too pretty.

-interesting track thirteen fact: tricky covers this song, to fantastic effect, with his side project Nearly God. also, my brother knows every word. seriously. you could call him right now and ask him to recite it...he would.

TRACK FOURTEEN: "Bonita Applebaum" tribe called quest

-best track fourteen moment: "38-24-37, you and me honey, we're a match made in heaven"; q-tip making a kissing noise and saying "i'd like to kiss you where some brothers won't...i'd like to tell you things some brothers don't"

-interesting track fourteen fact: i think this is my all-time favorite hip hop love song. and, i actually have had this song on cassingle.

cassingle.

TRACK FIFTEEN: "Can't Truss It" public enemy

-best track fifteen moment: the musical part of this song is just so fucking hard, there is no way not to move when you hear it. chuck d. period.

-interesting track fifteen fact: i have gotten more good driving moments from bumping this song at stop lights than pretty much any other. more people waving, peace-signing, winking, etc. people love their PE.

TRACK SIXTEEN: "Mon Espirit en C" expression direkt

-best track sixteen moment: it's in french, people.

-interesting track sixteen fact: it's on the metisse/la haine (cafe au lait/hate for the non-froggy amongst us) soundtrack. that soundtrack owns it, people.

TRACK SEVENTEEN: "Passin' Me By" pharcyde

-best track seventeen moment: the "damn" at the end of verse three.

-interesting track seventeen fact: i listened to this album fo5 8.5 hours once while making up graduation announcements at cal. i worked the templates and so forth, and listened to it and by the end, i knew every word. but, i then forgot on the ride home from work.

ok, so that's it. the whole thing. it's a pretty good comp. i mean, at least for No Shame Summer it is. certainly, if i were going to try and make a really really good hip hop comp (cred-wise), i would have taken somethings off, put others on...but that's the point of No Shame Summer:

NO CRED.

FUCK CRED.

so, yeah. i stand by my comp.

and i wasted a lot of time at work writing about it, which is awesome.

and i couldn't play big pimpin because it would get me fired, which is also pretty awesome.

also, i think i am going to go home for the weekend at the end of the month, on the company's dime. which is pretty sweet.

also, snailandsky writes awesome email.

also, my knees hurt.

oh, and if i really need to choose a top three albums, i will do so right now, quickly and not-entirely-but-sort-of-arbitrarily:

in no order, obviously:

"this is the way it goes and goes and goes" juno--this album pretty much, kills me.

"kid a" radiohead--arbitrary radiohead pick, but i really like this band, and they are super important to me, so i figure they should be in my top three. also, i like kid a and amnesiac tons more than anything they did prior.

"daydream nation" sonic youth--early sonic youth is full of so many hot moments, i had to pick one and there you go.