and, most times it sucks.

but then, the Co-Worker will do something like send me an email with a racist anti-afghani picture or something, and i have to wonder

how bad is it to not be playing for this team?

it's not as if i think that he is actually racist, though, maybe he is; i think it's more nationalism (yech) and ignorance (neat). in terms of what we're doing over in the middle east, i just think it's far too complicated to get involved in a bunch of sloganeering, and those whom i really care about probably feel the same way. if not, then certainly we could have a reasoned discussion about it.

but this kind of tastelessness gives me a stomach ache and rather than feel sad that i am not part of the "team", i feel rather sick that i am working for it. as i have lamented to her and her regularly, i am not this kind of person, these are not people who speak the same language as i do at all. and this has been quite the eye-opening experience for me as i always thought that given the right circumstances we would come to find that everyone is pretty much the same. but working here i have found that this is simply not true; these people are so completely different from me, it's as if i need a translator sometimes. and i am not saying better/worse, necessarily at least, but different. i know that our values and priorities are so wildly different, i could not possibly put my love for those things i care about in words that they would understand--i mean, in any real way.

i worry, though, that this lack of a common language is what will be my final undoing here, motivating them to fire me before i am able to find a new job and tell them to suck a fat one.