you just can't know how good it feels to finally feel like myself again.

and in the time that my brother has been here i have cried more than i have in the last year and a half about what's happened to me and that's clearly because i haven't been comfortable enough to do that until now.

and thank god for him because without him i would be so lost.

and i know that my decision to move back to oakland is the right one because i want home now and that's where my heart is.

and i don't feel the need to justify that to anyone, which feels great.

and being ready for home is the best feeling i have had in ever. and i called my sister tonight and she's so grateful that i'll be home soon. and my mom is thrilled that i'll be a 6 hr drive's away.

and as much as i have been afraid to return to california i think it's finally time.

and i am so fucking excited it's unreal.

i'm just so glad everything's working out how it's supposed to.

for the first time in as long as i can remember, that's how i feel.

and also, i saw 28 days later and it knocked my socks off. it make's me feel close to franny!

i even had zombie nightmares too!