against better judgement, i cannot stop tongueing (i made that spelling up) it, thus making me hurt, and generally annoyed.

i think this is a fine physical manifestation of what is going on in my life right now.

in other news, so long as they don't ruin my car or where i live, or make the bunnies go away permanently, i am in love with thunderstorms in a way that is both unhealthy, and a little frightening.

i stayed up all night last night writing letters and postcards, just so i could watch the windows inbetween sentences, looking for lightening and listening for thunder, just to see how fast the storm is moving.

i remember once i visited my grandmother in florida and there was a huge and fierce thunder and lightening storm. i just sat in her bedroom on the floor, looking through the sliding glass doors, my small hands on the windows to feel them shake with the thunder. i watched the pool over flowing, i watched the lightening reach across the sky. i watched until i fell asleep with my forehead against the glass, i don't remember my mother picking me up and going to bed.

that trip was the first time i ever saw a bug the size of a fist.

it was the first time i ever saw my grandma naked too. i think the only time.

unless i blocked the other times out of my memory.

good ol' naked grandma.