mostly, i just feel sad. i know exactly who i am. i know what my strengths are. i know what my weaknesses are.

i know what makes some people acknowledge me, and i know why i am invisible to most people.

i know i am very plain. i feel shame over it most of the time. sometimes i am too tired to feel shame and that's when i feel nothing at all.

no one who has ever known me in life has believed me to be beautiful, they have always been with me despite the fact that i am very plain. or they have thought me beautiful with their eyes closed.

but no one has ever said "you are beautiful" and i believed them.

and that's because i know who i am. and i know what i am.

and i am very plain.