last night i almost went by myself to get a tattoo. had i the money surely i would be marked with one right now.

left forearm or back of the neck? the question remains.

i feel as if i want to do something big, to mark time, to release pain, to decorate and to finally do something that i have considered for years.

yesterday, instead of driving straight home i took my time driving through the city, counting cherry blossom trees, branches and petals full of rain, bowed over heavy, like sad shoulders like a woman crying.

in my rage, the first people i will kick in the face will be the lotion girls, the girls who spend their time grooming themselves, brushing their hair, talking in whispers while looking at me sideways and then sealing the deal by slathering bath and body works hyper-scented lotion all over their arms.

i'll cut their hair in jagged geometry, i will make them eat that lotion, squeezing it into their mouths until it's running down their cheeks and chins like porn stars, until there is so much in their eyes they can't rub it out for love or money.

to training now. more later, boredom and stolen computer time permitting.