she assures me that if i am not TOTALLY exciting and i don't TOTALLY entertain every second, she's going to crack a bottle of bourbon over my head, yell at me, steal stuart, ransack my apt for valuables and then leave me in my apt, cracked skull, de-kittied, with no more bourbon, and with the door open so the thugs in my apt building can have their way with me.

needless to say, i have been planning every minute of her stay like my apt is the Love Boat and i am julie the activities director because the thugs in my building are total dicks.

also, i figure i can lull her to sleep by talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and never reaching a point like i did on friday and she actually had to say "that's all really cool, and i'm listening to you, but, um...are you getting to anything????"

i'm still blushing over that one folks.

one day my wounded pride will let that one go.

but, i will try to keep my mind on the point if she comes down this week, even through a whiskey haze. plus, having a reason to clean and do laundry on thursday makes me feel less shitty when people ask me what i am doing for thanksgiving.

i imagine, however, that it's more uncomfortable for them when they find out i have nowhere to go for thanksgiving than it is for me to tell them, since i am used to the idea and everything.

there's a party at my boss' house next friday. i think i might go. i wish i knew what a nice ornament looked like though, i have never bought one or even really paid attn to them ever.

i mean, i'm a jew and stuff.

but there's an ornament exchange and i would really hate to bring something lame and have the person who gets it go, "jesus, what the hell is wrong with the jew?"

or something equally shitty.

you know?

today a girl i work with gave me a scarf and hat she knitted for me. the one time we hung out we went to walmart and i bought yarn for her to knit me something, i totally forgot, and it rules. i will wear it around the house because it's not as thick as the one i wear outside.

but that sure was nice of her.