man, i am telling you, all day long and on the way home from work i am always writing up REALLY FUCKING GREAT diary entries for the few people that still read this derned thing (because i care. aww!), but by the time i get through my emails and various other "just got home from work" thingies, i swear to god all the stream is out of me, peeps.
here are whatnots i can remember thinking up for you today:
(on the way to work, driving down denny towards stewart to get on the freeway, staring at the space needle get swallowed by clouds):
you know, i just brushed my teeth and rinsed like 15 minutes ago and now my mouth tastes like ass.
i don't remember rimming someone on the way from my door into my car, but i must assume that's what's happened, because my mouth does, in fact, taste like ass.
i seriously hate mint.
(on the Computer Based Training i am doing at work):
i get a nice little charge and a tingle in my heart everytime i look up on the board and see that there is "CBT" scheduled for the day.
i know it's supposed to be "computer based training", but as a frequent visitor to bmezine.com i always think of something else first.
please go to the glossary and then look up CBT to see what i mean.
you won't be sorry and you'll love me for it!
(on the Hot Trainer who could possibly be the new Hot Exec, except he's not an Exec. but damned close enough for me):
holy fucking shit, doods, he is so hot.
(on my stomach ache after lunch):
doods? don't eat the tuna sandwich from the cafe. W concluded that it must have been made from non-dolphin-safe tuna and that the agonizing pain in my stomach was due to the revenge of angry dolphin spirits.
he also suggested cleansing myself with sage when i got home, and making an offering of some kind to appease them.
(on the people of seattle):
jesus christ, everyone here is so fucking good looking, it's unfuckingbelievable. i seriously almost get into a car accident daily because i am looking at the people walking or biking around my neighborhood rather than paying attention to the road. whoops!
when i am not driving, i regularly walk into things because i am not looking at where i am going, rather i am staring at people around me.
(on my birthday):
it's coming this sunday people! hurry and check out my wishlist so that you can all send me presents.
please. i doubt i will get any presents for reals this year, and i don't even have any plans for it!
you know, this could end up just like sixteen candles, which i wouldn't mind because that jake ryan is one hot tomato.
(on jake ryan):
is it just me, or would that be one of the rockinest names for a band ever. jake ryan! i call it, you can't have it! now who wants to be in the band with me?
(on tequila):
yes please!
