i woke up early enough to eat breakfast and am now having jasmine tea.

i looked around the kitchen and the disarray made my skin curl up, so i feel the motivation to actually really clean it tonight.

something in my head feels clearer.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: jasmine tea smells and tastes like heaven and if i could find a way to bottle the scent of freshly brewed jasmine tea i would be happier than anyone in the world.

and then i'd sell it and make a bagillion dollars.

this year is going so fast. i am almost to january 5th, which will be a year since i left iowa. once i reach the year mark i will be able to purge all feelings regarding lauren and that whole disappointing time.

basically, until january 5th, i have a memory each day of what my life was like a year ago, and it makes me sad and lonely.

i want to be able to let go of the whole thing.

i just wish it didn't fuck me up so bad, is all.

last night at work someone called my eyes "striking".