secretbruises (11:42:08 PM): we should totally get married
secretbruises (11:42:14 PM): do you want to make babies with me?
secretbruises (11:42:28 PM): i don't mind carrying the babies
cakecrumbmascara (11:42:29 PM): yes
secretbruises (11:42:43 PM): as long as we can do it melissa etheridge style and get brad pitt's sperms
cakecrumbmascara (11:42:49 PM): i'm too small for carrying babies, i'd crumple
cakecrumbmascara (11:42:55 PM): sounds perfect
cakecrumbmascara (11:43:03 PM): we want pretty babies
secretbruises (11:43:06 PM): i'll totally squeeze them out, dood
cakecrumbmascara (11:43:13 PM): excellent
secretbruises (11:43:15 PM): we have to name the first boy henry, though
secretbruises (11:43:19 PM): and the second one jack
secretbruises (11:43:22 PM): good strong plain names
cakecrumbmascara (11:43:30 PM): those are lovely names
cakecrumbmascara (11:43:43 PM): not all contrived and precious
secretbruises (11:43:47 PM): exactly
secretbruises (11:43:52 PM): and then a little girl.
secretbruises (11:44:01 PM): which we can name er
cakecrumbmascara (11:44:07 PM): girls should have crazy unique names
secretbruises (11:44:08 PM): sophia!
secretbruises (11:44:15 PM): i love that name.
cakecrumbmascara (11:44:20 PM): sophia has style
secretbruises (11:44:27 PM): and it's so philosophy core
secretbruises (11:44:32 PM): but we can't call her sophie
secretbruises (11:44:35 PM): because that sucks
cakecrumbmascara (11:44:35 PM): I like sofia
cakecrumbmascara (11:44:40 PM): oh fuck no
secretbruises (11:44:42 PM): and jaack can't be jacky
secretbruises (11:44:46 PM): and henry can only be hank
secretbruises (11:44:53 PM): good, tough as nails names.
cakecrumbmascara (11:44:58 PM): i'll hit anyone who tries to pull that shit on out babies
secretbruises (11:45:13 PM): that's damned right
cakecrumbmascara (11:45:25 PM): hank is like eating broken light bulb sandwiches tough
secretbruises (11:45:51 PM): i know!
secretbruises (11:46:00 PM): and you know my kid would be the biggest puss though
secretbruises (11:46:05 PM): all nice and respectful and shit
secretbruises (11:46:14 PM): i have one thing i won't bend on, though, jen
cakecrumbmascara (11:46:25 PM): i'm so thirsty, it's like i've been lapping up spilled antifreeze or something
secretbruises (11:46:25 PM): our kids. they can't go to high school. i won't allow it.
cakecrumbmascara (11:46:32 PM): what's that jessica
cakecrumbmascara (11:46:35 PM): oh no
secretbruises (11:46:39 PM): we'll send them to europe for 4 yrs instead
secretbruises (11:46:41 PM): or something
secretbruises (11:46:46 PM): high school just fucks people up.
cakecrumbmascara (11:46:48 PM): high school is for morons
cakecrumbmascara (11:46:58 PM): it's true
secretbruises (11:47:23 PM): so, no high school. mandatory art/craft time
secretbruises (11:47:26 PM): mandatory reading time
secretbruises (11:47:32 PM): and mandatory shake your ass time
secretbruises (11:47:36 PM): where everyone dances
cakecrumbmascara (11:47:44 PM): so mandatory
cakecrumbmascara (11:47:51 PM): kids are the best dancers
cakecrumbmascara (11:47:54 PM): hands down
secretbruises (11:47:54 PM): i know!
secretbruises (11:48:00 PM): they will show us the moves
cakecrumbmascara (11:48:01 PM): they have mother fucking moves
secretbruises (11:48:05 PM): HAHAHAHA
cakecrumbmascara (11:48:05 PM): yessss
secretbruises (11:48:13 PM): we are in each other's heads
cakecrumbmascara (11:48:29 PM): my ex's neices and nephews would want to dance with me
cakecrumbmascara (11:48:39 PM): and i'd be wowed
cakecrumbmascara (11:48:57 PM): cause they'd be dropping it like it's hot and shit
secretbruises (11:48:59 PM): jen
secretbruises (11:49:06 PM): i used to dance to duran duran tapes
cakecrumbmascara (11:49:09 PM): which is kind of freaky when you're 6
cakecrumbmascara (11:49:14 PM): hahaha NO WAY
secretbruises (11:49:22 PM): and also, i used to dance to the flashdance soundtrack
cakecrumbmascara (11:49:32 PM): oh god me too
cakecrumbmascara (11:49:48 PM): I wanted to be a steelworker-stripper
secretbruises (11:50:12 PM): and also, everynight before i went to bed i would dance, alone in my room
secretbruises (11:50:15 PM): kind of like i do now
cakecrumbmascara (11:50:16 PM): and live in a warehouse and not have a car..just a bike
cakecrumbmascara (11:50:21 PM): bedroom dancer
secretbruises (11:50:28 PM): i remember dancing to "white lines" by grandmaster flash a lot
cakecrumbmascara (11:50:38 PM): SHUT UP
secretbruises (11:50:42 PM): and totally fake popping and locking during the "FREEZE!" "ROCK!"
secretbruises (11:50:44 PM): parts
cakecrumbmascara (11:50:54 PM): jessica... that is my all TIME favorite song ever
cakecrumbmascara (11:51:04 PM): white lines!!!!!!!
secretbruises (11:51:05 PM): JEN
secretbruises (11:51:07 PM): JEN!
secretbruises (11:51:10 PM): oh man
secretbruises (11:51:17 PM): that's the best song
cakecrumbmascara (11:51:26 PM): i'm going to get your ring
cakecrumbmascara (11:51:29 PM): I KNOW
secretbruises (11:51:35 PM): jen, pretty much i want the rest of my diary to just be copying/pasting our conversations
secretbruises (11:51:37 PM): would that be bad?
cakecrumbmascara (11:51:42 PM): hahaha
cakecrumbmascara (11:52:05 PM): I think we might make people disgusted with our mind melding
secretbruises (11:52:13 PM): they would just be jealous.
later:
secretbruises (3:04:22 AM): Paul begins to train David a bit. Turn him into a gentleman of sorts. Paul begins with a little geography lesson. David begins taking notes as if he were in school. Quote of the show thus far:
David: �Where is Dutch again?
Paul: �Holland.�
David: �Holland! That�s where they wear the wooden shoes!�
cakecrumbmascara (3:04:39 AM): hahahaha, oh god, I remember that
secretbruises (3:04:43 AM): like, do the producers know that whoever is writing this is mocking the show?
secretbruises (3:04:53 AM): i can write this shit so easily, i may cry.
cakecrumbmascara (3:05:01 AM): the whole thing is kind of a mock
cakecrumbmascara (3:05:08 AM): they just aren't in on it
secretbruises (3:05:22 AM): Paul: �In Italy for example, the casual way of saying hello or goodbye is the same which
is Ciao.�
David: �Ciao.�
Paul: �So Ciao means?�
David: �Not for sure�food?�
cakecrumbmascara (3:05:35 AM): hehehe
secretbruises (3:05:41 AM): oh my godddddddddd
cakecrumbmascara (3:06:03 AM): jessica, I feel like i'm a very bad influence
secretbruises (3:06:11 AM): you obviously are
secretbruises (3:06:22 AM): i send you romantic violence laden poetry
secretbruises (3:06:33 AM): you send me joe millionaire--an international affair.
cakecrumbmascara (3:06:34 AM): like I just taught you how to smoke heroin off of tinfoil
secretbruises (3:06:52 AM): hahahahaah
cakecrumbmascara (3:07:38 AM): I have two goldfish and they're either really depressed or lazy
secretbruises (3:07:48 AM): maybe both
cakecrumbmascara (3:07:53 AM): they need some sort of excitement
secretbruises (3:07:58 AM): put bubble bath in, everyone loves a bubble bath
cakecrumbmascara (3:08:10 AM): kaya drinks out of their bowl, that makes them excited
cakecrumbmascara (3:08:16 AM): SO TRUE
secretbruises (3:08:18 AM): hahahahaha
cakecrumbmascara (3:08:29 AM): and I was telling my friend
cakecrumbmascara (3:08:58 AM): and he was like " jen think how you'd feel if a 50 foot tongue came crashing into your bedroom while you were sleeping"
cakecrumbmascara (3:09:10 AM): and I was like " yeah...and?"
cakecrumbmascara (3:09:44 AM): and then silence....and then he realized and was like " oh, ok.... that would kind of rule"
secretbruises (3:10:01 AM): was he saying that's what bubble baths were like?
cakecrumbmascara (3:10:16 AM): no, kaya drinking oyt of the fishes bowl
secretbruises (3:10:31 AM): The women then drink champagne and speculate about David and his fortune and how excited they are now to meet him. Schadenfreude!!!!!
secretbruises (3:10:33 AM): oh right
cakecrumbmascara (3:10:45 AM): no way
secretbruises (3:10:52 AM): yes
cakecrumbmascara (3:11:02 AM): they actually said schadenfreude
secretbruises (3:11:06 AM): yes.
cakecrumbmascara (3:11:14 AM): oh my heart just skipped
secretbruises (3:11:19 AM): WE COULD WRITE THIS
cakecrumbmascara (3:11:26 AM): I KNOW
cakecrumbmascara (3:11:38 AM): dood, we do write "this"
