this guy got me all into the tindersticks. how you like them apples?

i can hear you all these miles away, "who the fuck ARE you?"

i don't know, ma cherie, i don't know.

i do know that last night's gin binge...while fun at the time, for sure...wasn't so great this morning. i have never had an alcohol dry me out so much, not even tequila. and it was good gin, too, if i am to believe my gin drinking friends when they say bombay sapphire is good gin.

this weekend, i drank a lot of gin. i smoked a lot of cigarettes. now i am paying for it, as the sicknesses i had been warding off these last couple of weeks with my new regimen of not smoking and not drinking came crashing down.

idle hands, my friend, idle hands.

i can tell you, though, gin makes me this kind of loopy, yet alert, drunk that i like a lot. well alert except for my eyes. after awhile, it got real hard to focus.

but the blur of it was wonderful.

my stomach is very empty, i didn't eat a whole lot this weekend; i kind of picked at the same leftovers and then made a sandwich or two. abbey and i went to lunch at the mall. so fucking miserable. the things i will do to spend time with my only sister.

being at the mall wasn't an entire bust, though, because i got to get bunch of smell good stuff; it had been long overdue. so now my hair is soft and smelling really good again, and it's under control. also, i got this linen spray which is, unfortunately, too sweet. i couldn't tell what with the olfactory attack i was under just being in the store. so, i think i might try to give that to someone else and just keep using the green tea linen spray.

have you used that? i love waking up smelling that all over my skin, it's so clean and good.

anyway, mall bad, smell good junk good.

oh! and i got a backscrubber finally. i love scrubbing until my back is raw. then wash it off with too hot water. mmm.

but you know, that's because i'm all rough and tuff with my (not really now that it's long)afro-puff.

or something.

it's noon and all i can think about is getting home. i told my boss this morning that i think i am coming down with something...you know, planting that seed in case i decide i can't take it later and want to leave early.

it wouldn't entirely be a lie, but you know how tough i can be, when i want to.

talking to you saturday night made the entire weekend worthwhile. we are now at the 23 day mark. can you believe it?

are you sure we're not renting fear?

i love you nicole-4-eva,