2001-08-30 & 11:01 a.m. : for sakura

i wish i had written this on cool white elegant rice paper, with liquid pen, in long careful strokes:

it is for this reason i love you,

and i think we love each other so much.

connection.

i know you know how to recognize this.

and further, i know that you understand precisely what i mean when i talk about the holiness of connecting with a friend or loved one.

there have been so many of those times with you.

the other night in your room, that one saturday afternoon in your garage haven, sitting outside the donut shop, hands animated, or hiding behind pillows to get that single painful word out.

and we hear it in music, and we see it in pictures,

we wish for it in postcards and through the thin elegant pages of books.

a properly placed word can turn our hearts on a dime

and it's this that makes this world such a turned about upside down place for me

to be destroyed or made by the right word

it's a precarious place to be.

there are times when i say things, and they are so close to exactly what i mean without capturing the texture, the frustration is unbearable.