2001-12-10 & 10:58 p.m. : shame

i just had the weirdest sense of deja vu. and for just a moment i could see how my life is running in this big spiral type cycle

and i know what i have to do to break it

my most secret wish

that i can't even really say out loud

and the hardest thing i'll have to face

and it will change my whole life.

can you imagine the sheer terror of that?

and more than that

can you imagine the shame i feel

at being afraid?