i don't know if you could have cheered me up, you know? so don't feel bad.

it's just like that with me sometimes. i come crashing down. and then i am splintered all over the floor. i feel like i am disappearing, hearing my internal monologue getting softer and softer and softer.

there is nothing in this world i want more right now than to be in bed. i don't know why i stay up so late, looking at my bed sideways like an enemy before staying up for a few extra hours that i definitely should be using for sleep. especially before a day like today.

my eyes are like opiate smoker's half lidded plates of glass.

everything is in between gauze and backward sunlight.

and during lunch, it started to rain.

i just need a nap. a short one. then i'll be alright.