what follows is what they wrote, exactly as they wrote it, spelling and grammar mistakes intact.

i think it's better that way:

"very quiet"

"nice"

"friendly"

"fun"

"great phone voice"

"shy"

"fun to share thoughts w/"

"fun at lunch to chat w/"

"very quite but always willing to share just a piece of her self"

"very nice + friendly"

"she is always so professional and caring on every call- no matter the call"

"very nice"

"great addition to the team- your always there for help."

"very friendly and willing to help our customers".

i think my favorite ones are "shy" and "very quiet". i love that these are the things that they love about me.

it's so strange about me that i don't really open up at a job until i know that i am going to leave. i have had more fun in the last week or so than i have the whole time i was here. i have joked around with everyone, flirted with cute boys, stared wantonly at Hot Exec and generally did a great job.

i don't know if before it's like i'm afraid of getting in trouble by acting gregariously, or if i generally resent having to work and so i just kind of clam up or what.

what's worse, now that i have loosened up and started having such a good time, i have wanted to leave my job less and less. this is an awesome company to work for, awesome people to work with, and the potential for growth is tremendous.

but i can't stay here for this job. it pays horribly and i am so lonely and unhappy otherwise. it sucks and it's so scary that the job market is as shitty as it is and i am voluntarily giving up this job when i move.

but spending every night alone, missing my friends, having no support system here, it's just too much to take on for the sake of a career in a place that i don't want to be.

i hope there is someway to transfer to one of the seattle locations, but the chance is slim because i haven't been here long enough to do an internal transfer.

i'll try as hard as i can, though.

this is dumb. let's talk about happy things.

my fingernails look so rocked lately. i have been nervously picking at my thumbs and fingertips. i need to buff my nails to make them shiny, but i kind of like how they have ink under them. i have been drawing things and then throwing them away. i keep itching to paint. maybe this weekend i'll clean up the apt and then lay down something over the floor so i can paint without worrying about the carpet.

it'd be so great if jason and i got a house with a basement. he could play drums and i could paint without worry.