why is my web email page loading itself in japanese?

wow, the amount of energy it takes to digest food is staggering. why didn't i notice that before? i think i ate pretty healthily. maybe it's because my stomach had been empty for some fucking long?

does anybody know about this? am i just noticing this now because i have been dead to my body?

man, things are changing fast and furious for me these days.

like, everything is falling right into place.

i had the craziest dream last night. though it didn't have the handjobs of the dream from the night before, it still made me really happy once i woke up.

i dreamt i was in this old house that i had lived in for a very long time. it was old and falling apart and dark and i was moving out. my mother and i were in the kitchen, and i was packing up the last of the stuff and suddenly i got this horrible chill, like the house was haunted. and then water started shooting out the over head light and i pushed myself back againt the wall and sank to the floor, completely petrified of the haunted house that was trying to scare me out of leaving. but then my mom came and took my hand and helped me up and said, "no it's ok honey, everything will be ok, you can leave" and instantly i felt better and ready to leave.

when i woke up i pulled my eyelids up with much trepidation, doing a mental check-out of myself to see if i had lost this wave of great feeling that had been pulling me through this week...but, nothin', i couldn't tell. so i turned on the lights and started the shower water running and decided, "well, it was a nice run of it" and set about the morning routine.

and then i was in the shower, kinda singin' and scrubbin' along and thinking about the dream and suddenly i am singin' exxtra loud because i think i figured it out.

what i think is this: the dream was all about me and all these changes i am going through and specifically how happy i have been lately and in particular even more about this amazing love affair i have just now fallen into with my body--this is an entirely new attitude for me. so, i think that the scary haunted house dream is about me and my body and how my old thinking about my body (very key that we were in the kithcen: food, whatnot, all the normal female dramarama and so on) and how i feel so good now and i am like, this alien in my body, like loving it and stuff and so i think my subconscious was trying to scare me into going back to my old feelings about myself (the old falling apart house trying to scare me by being angry for leaving/moving out) but my mom (maybe the wise part of my subconscious?) telling me, that no, it's ok that i leave, everything's going to be ok.

GREAT DREAM!!

so then i realize that and i like, fly out of the shower and whiz around my room, totally back engulfed in this awesome mood, and i am petting stuart and throwing things in the air and shakin' my hips to the good tunes and i leave the house and you know what i brought with me to listen to on the way to work, right?

like, you have to know.

that's right: i brought the purple rain soundtrack.

i can't go into the aforementioned treatise on my sexuality and how it was formed, in large part, to prince and his minions, because i need to get my notes together and i really should write a book on it but let me just say

i chilled very deep with 'darling nikki' again this morning. like, have you ever noticed that part during the climactic GRIII-IIIIND IIIND IIINDDDD part how like on the third GRIIIIND the percussion sounds like some slut getting smacked on the ass during some really hardcore very pleasureable mutually consented powerful sex?

is that just me?

have you even bothered to listen?

seriously, it's so fucking hot. it's like SMACKSMACKSMACK and i was like, so fucking hot when i got to work today because i replayed that song like 12 times, and in particular that part and i can't wait to get in the car in like a half hour or so because i am putting that extra loud so i can feel that song through my whole body while i listen.

fucking prince man. who ever knew a man in high heeled boots, makeup and with a drawn on beautymark could be so fucking brutal and hot.

at least, you know, in music.

fuck dood. smacksmacksmack.