also, i will probably update again later, with pics of my new painting(s), and also, the tale of the most insane morning i have had in recent history.

it was so unbelievably bad that i shot right past being upset about it to laffing about it until i peed.

also--my monitor busted today. i bought it in november.

neat.

15 years ago I...

1. was starting the harrowing experience of seventh grade.

2. was in the practice of hiding from my friends by sitting in my room listening to "closer" and "hatful of hollow" on repeat for hours on end.

3. was becoming good friends with my sister after years of fighting. it was a mutual fear and hate of my father that was the cement for our bonds.

4. was taking care of my brother and sister, and cooking for my father at night.

5. began what became a four yr stint of groundation. i'm not kidding folks, for the period between my 12th and 16th year, i was grounded non-stop, with the largest break between groundings being maybe 3 weeks. these were few and far between.

10 years ago I...

1. was in an "alternative school". usually reserved for problems kids, i chose to go to this school because i was psychically unable to deal with real high school.

this was the best decision i made in my life.

2. was hanging out regularly with kerri, who od'd 3 yrs later.

good good friend. very sad loss.

3. had the foresight to avoid my father at all costs, and by doing so started to regain some sanity.

4. was beginning my friendship with my brother after even more years of fighting.

this was to become the closest and deepest relationship that i have.

5. was completely obsessed with shoegazer music. the real, british kind, folks. ride? stone roses? sundays? slowdive? send 'em over here.

5 years ago I...

1. was thick in the real beginnings of my philosophical work.

2. had just broken up with my girlfriend of many years. the slut.

mmmm.

3. worked at a record store

4. was in deep with the indie rock love, obsessing over bands like blonde redhead and versus.

5. was hanging out a lot with niki and lauren. i met jason in august of that yr.

we proceeded to fall in platonic love with each other, to exclusion of all other friends.

it was a beautiful period.

2 years ago I...

1. graduated from uc berkeley with a BA in philosophy. more than the fact that i was able to get through the program with a good gpa, i was proud of the fact that #1--i did it all on my own, by working to get together enough money to go/get grades to get grants to go and by building transcripts to get me in, even though i never got my high school diploma--GED girl here, folks. and #2--i had finally completed a big project.

2. was living with jason in lake merritt before i graduated, and then moved home to "save for grad school".

big mistake.

3. fell in the closest i have ever gotten to love, for the first time.

4. made my first art book.

5. revelled in social awkwardness and art/music in niki's garage.

a good good time, even though it was a fucked up time.

1 year ago I...

1. was preparing to move up to the bay area again.

2. nursing my first ever honest to god broken heart.

3. hanging out a lot with kyle, nisha and stretch.

4. was flown up to the bay to interview for my current job--this was probably the most adult thing i have ever done.

5. was staying up late, regularly, watching undressed marathons and vh-1 behind the music.

Yesterday I...

1. painted a LOT

2. finished one painting and almost a second.

3. talked to snailandsky on the phone

4. hung out with the nebula king

5. had a great sesh

Today I...

1. woke up to find my (bought in november) beautiful flat screen monitor broked.

2. fixed an overflowing toilet

3. played nurse for 2nd Boss, who had ripped off one of her toenails at starbucks.

gross.

4. am leaving at noon, going to the nebula king's house so i can pick up a loaner monitor, and then, later, get my hair cut.

5. intend on renting donnie darko, and also drinking myself to retardation while painting, because my morning has been so bad.

Tomorrow I will...

1. wake up without a hangover

2. paint

3. get my hair done at a "spa"

4. see my cousin (probably)

5. paint

Five items I have brand loyalty to...

1. steve madden--my slippers are the best slippers to ever slipper in all possible universes in which slippers exist.

2. sakura pens

3. bounce fabric softener. best smell ever.

4. generic

5. morning star farms

Five snacks I enjoy...

1. feta cheese and kalamata olives and carrots

2. trader joe's handmade tortillas with cheddar cheese melted on it, and chalula or tapatio thrown in the mix.

3. eggo blueberry waffle-fulls, toasted with butter on it.

4. bagel and cream cheese

5. trader joe's chile and sweet onion wisecrackers with humus and lemonade

Five songs I know all the words to, even without the music....

1. give it to you, by jordan knight

2. nothing, by mason jennings

3. mojo pin, by jeff buckley

4. dry, by pj harvey

5. i've got a crush on you, ella fitzgerald/frank sinatra/dinah washington/etc. it's a standard, folks.

Five games I like...

1. boggle

2. trivial pursuit

3. tony hawk proskater 2

4. bones

5. backgammon

Five desert island albums...

1. grace, jeff buckley

2. this is the way it goes and goes and goes, juno

3. daydream nation, sonic youth

4. i know about you, ida

5. f#a#oo, godspeed you black emperor!

Five things I can't live without...

1. music

2. love

3. food

4. sleep

5. good smells

Five things I would buy with a $1000...

1. a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiight computer system

2. a ton of art stuff

3. really really great shoes

4. music

5. a tattoo

My top five guilty pleasures...

1. alcohol

2. salty foods

3. writing porn

4. spending all day on the internet at work

5. making fun of the people at my work, even though in actuality they are perfectly nice, i guess. they are just sales people. eugh.

Top five musicians lately (or who's in the CD player right now?)

1. grant lee buffalo

2. jeff buckley

3. joy division

4. trash can sinatras

5. godspeed you black emperor!

Top five locations I'd like to run away to...

1. iowa

2. maine

3. italy

4. brazil

5. pdx

Five bad habits I have...

1. loud masturbation

2. being online

3. being distant

4. weekends=no shower zones

5. intellectualizing things too much

Five people currently on my bad side...

1. the manufacturers of my monitor

2. this dude i wanted to contact, but then i lost my nerve

3. i don't know

4. i really don't because

5. people who get on my "shit list", i just generally stop thinking about

Five things I would never wear...

1. really high heels

2. a tube top

3. acrylic nails

4. acid washed jeans

5. those one-sleeve shirts that are also currently and inexplicably popular (i steal from my friends, in this case, snail-o)

Five TV shows I like...

1. iron chef

2. west wing (or at least i used to. i fucking loved that show. if someone called me while it was on i would pick up the phone and just say "west wing's on, call back at ten" and hang up. but it could have gone to shit now, i haven't seen it [or any tv really] in like a year)

3. jackass. bam magera=sex (again, this is from a year ago or so, folks. i have no idea if it's even on anymore now)

4. vh-1 behind the music, por vida

5. snl. will ferrel, marry me?