i'm almost certain of it.

so, if i disappear FOREVER, be sure to pour some for your dead homie, ok?

let me just say, that what i had for lunch was NOT the tamales that i so deeply desired. they were not the ones that i walked 4 blocks to go get. they are not the ones that i ordered from the girl with the frosted lipgloss standing behind the counter and in front of the poster of the girls in thong bikinis. they are not the tamales i reached into my wallet and pulled out my check card for, and they certainly were not the ones that the girlwithfrostedlipgloss told me her restaurant only accepts cash and checks.

and

checks.

BLOWJOBS!

blowjobs blowjobs!

do you understand that i have become mildly obsessed with the tamale? i am obsessed enough to want to have tamales everyday until i cannot eat another tamale ever, or only on christmas eve like my dear franny--yet not obsessed enough to consider institutionalization, nor electro-shock treatment.

aside: ew, do you remember that part in velvet goldmine (note to world--this movie is not good unless you are hammered, or possibly on psychedelics. not that i would know about the latter. of course. stay in school. hugs not drugs), where ewan "i've got a big uncut penis and am contractually bound to take it out in 45% of my movies" mcgregor's character is getting his brains fried by electro-shock therapy because he gave his older brother a hummer and then like, they pan to the brother (who was totally hot, bee thee wee, i mean, come on, you would have done it, don't lie) winks at him?

i know! ew!

winking is so gross!!!!

where was i?

oh yeah, tamales. best food on earth, man. and they come in husks! husks are hilarious!

they are so pretty and make me think of stretch's mom's house, because everything there is "southwest themed".

wow, southwest themed. one of the worst ideas ever. ever. like right up there with shiny suits--you know the kind i mean, where they are like olive green on one view, and then like navy or something on the other--and, um, mannies.

just to be clear, a manny is a mullet and i know i am not breaking any ground saying that they are a bad idea.

though, funny.

southwest theme, though? not funny.

just pastel.

in other news, i got yet another "jessica is totally awesome and you should pay her bucketloads of cash" type complimentary letter from yet another client. i sent it to the Co-Worker, who is technically my boss, and he sent it to Big Boss, who then sent it to the Chief Sales Officer of the company. that's right. the Big Dog Master of This and All Universes (such that matter within out company). there are only like 2 people that he answers to, i think, in this huge huge national corporation.

what i am getting at here, is that i can basically do whatever i want, whenever i want (at least it appears) and still kick asses into outerspace such that i get compliments and shown off to the big dogs.

neat, i guess.

what really pleases me most about this is that they will be so bummed when i leave.

it may be the first time ever that a boss cares that i am leaving a job.

though, i will not hold my breath. they might not care at all.

but...i doubt it.

i am having a review soon. i really hope all this compliment crap translates into dollars.

so let's review:

tamales are my new favorite food. i suggest you run to trader joe's and snap up all their tamales, which is part of some new mexi-line (which may or may not only consist of the tamales) and is entirely aesthetically pleasing and deilicious.

also, i may die. though sweet potato fries are good, i might have to stick by a previous decision that i do not like french fries anymore. and, probably to the surprise of no one, strawberry lemonade is good, but not thirst-quenching.

[i know i didn't mention any of that part or the trader joe's stuff before so it's technically not part of a "review" but you can take that facist attitude back to the USS Caine, Captain Queeg, this here's my ship]

also, i am totally rad dogs when it comes to my shitty job.

and, i am a biiiiitch, because i find that the best part of finding out that clients like me is the extra thrill i am going to get at telling my bosses that i am leaving.

lastly, ewan mcgregor has a large, uncut penis.