you know, only my brother (probably) knows what the hell i am saying when i say that, but like, if you do know, holy shit dood, we are so mfeo.

not that my brother and i are mfeo, please don't be gross. i am in too good a mood for you to be gross, so please keep ahold of yourself and DON'T BE GROSS.

well the week comes to a close with a potluck at work and possibly the BEST DAY OF TRAINING EVER!!!!!!!! god it really does deserve all those exclamation points, though the caps may have been a bit much.

first of all, in a total change of character and possible proof that my body has been taken over by aliens and i am no longer myself but some, well, alien, i am making friends at work.

i know, what the hell people? like, remember how i couldn't even look at people at work before and like, now, i am all up in that piece being outgoing and funny and like, throwing gang signs and quoting friday and standing at the front of the class on a sugar high, literally dancing because the sugar, the sugar's got me flying man and god damn it i am never coming down!!!!

anyway. first of all, there's this one girl, she's from cali and she's soooooooooooo nice and like, amazing beautiful and sweet and she's kinda quiet but i swear to god she has got the best one liners ever and we have so much fun.

and then holy crap there's this other girl who is like, so freaking hot, and she is a blackbelt, and she's a total fucking rockstar at work and like, we trade barbs all day long and tomorrow night we (and like maybe 15 other people) are going dancing and i just KNOW she is going to freak me.

i am so pumped about this, yo. even if i just get to watch her freak other people--yes please!

i am not kidding that i drive home from work every single day smiling. this is the first time that has happened to me. like, my last job, in iowa, was the best job i had ever had, culture-wise, people-wise, etc.

but this job is even better and pays bling bling in comparison.

i fo sheezy lucked out. i am so pumped.

and also! niki is coming up soon (as i have said so many times this week), every single day that goes by is a day closer to when she will be here. i can. not. wait.

maybe we'll go dancing! i am so excited for dancing. it's been so damned long since i have shaken my ass when there are other people in the room.

(in class on the sugar high doesn't count because rather than shakin' my ass, it was more like a little kid bouncing up and down and clowning the class and drawing pictures on the board and making faces behind the teacher and being a general goof ball)

i don't know what this all means. am i finally, after my whole life, coming out of my shell? i have certainly been far more outgoing and happy since i moved to seattle than i think i have ever been in my life. this is so exciting.

maybe, just maybe, i am becoming a full human being.

hate it as much as i might, iowa may have been the best thing to ever happen to me. maybe, that long hateful period of stress and losing my best friend and being away from everyone i know and love, and doing things that were scary and uncomfortable, and learning to take care of myself all by myself...well, maybe it kind of cracked me out of my molding, gave me new boundaries, showed me parts of myself i didn't know i had.

i know for sure it made me more concerned about the person i am versus the person i want to be and, accordingly, the people in my life versus the people who should be in my life.

i am so fucking lucky for this.

blerg, this is all too serious for someone who is sitting in her chair dancing to peaches.

oh! the penpal question has been answered: today? two fucking letters, thank you very much.

and one of them had a photograph he took when he lived in prague!

asl;dkhgaskdhfvksajhdfkljahsdlfhalsdfjkalhsdfl!!!!

i'm so relieved. i just enjoy writing letters too much to stop now.

i was on a letter a day regimen!

now that i have gotten a letter(s!) back again, i can finish the one that's in my bag. it's clocking in at 6 pages right now.

i'm about half done.

anyway, i'm going to go now. i am going to see if i can teach myself to pop and lock to "heart attack" by gravy train!!!!.