my uterus is yelping and raw and doing whatever it does to cause cramps so powerful i am nearly immobile

have i mentioned that i derive some sort of perverse pleasure from my menstrual cramps

i like feeling fertile, i like feeling like i could grow something inside me if i wanted to

that thing would grow into another thing with a mind and a person and fingers and toes

to walk and to grasp

you know the crazy thing about a tornado is that it's wind that picks things up off the ground and throws it across time/space

it's not the ground moving and throwing things off shelves--it's wind that

picks

stuff

up

off

the

ground

and

moves

it

elsewhere.

this morning before i went to work i thought about ritchie and i wished i could hug her supertight. even though i haven't talked to her in months, even though i haven't even had the consideration to write her a choo.