-first, he has been trying to make me laugh all morning (i think this is intentional, but you can never know with frat boys)

-second, he has been copying me all day. if i do something, he will mimick me. for instance, i just called my mom because i am bored and i have nothing to do and who is the Co-Worker on the phone with right now? that's right, his mommy.

-third, he went and picked up lunch for me AGAIN today.

-fourth, and finally, he just sent me the following email:

Subject: Weekend Madness

Jessica,

I am going to get bent out of shape this weekend. I going to get some beer and pound them one after another. What do you think about that!!!!!!! And after I'm done, I'm going to holla at my daaawwwwwggggggggsssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

notice the excessive use of exclamation points. this is a clear indication that he is both giddy and nervous when he thinks of me, and obivously, writes to me.

i need to think of some way to let him down easy. i can't have a guy with scary rutger hauer eyes and forearms like overripe pineapples angry with me.

he just started singing that tractor song again, and then stopped and asked me if i thought his tractor was sexy. i told him that "#1, ew; #2, i've never seen your tractor (apparently he has one at home. bip.) and #3, it is almost surely some sort of sexual harrassment, were i to refer to it as sexy. so no, Co-Worker, i don't think your tractor is sexy."

and, in the 10 minutes that i was writing the above, he sent me this:

She thinks my tractors sexy,

It really turns her on,

She's always staring at me,

While I'm chugging along.

She's staring out the window,

While I'm tilling up the land,

She's even kinda crazy bout my

farmers tan.

She the only one that really understand.

what gets me.

SHE THINKS MY TRACTORS SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXYYYYYYYYYY

i'm afraid...are you afraid?

that reminds me of this story i read once in one of those AMOK books, this one about sexual fetishes and there was this guy in japan who fell in love with his tractor. [nod].

it's true. he named his tractor Stone and had sex with it, er, pardon me, made love to it. he ended up killing himself, though, because the love was unrequited. he hung himself from the tractor and left a love poem on its seat.

that book also had a whole section on trepanation. man, sometimes i really miss my old job.