"entry 289

name: snails

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nor I you, buddy! If that made sense. What I mean is: I didn't think you knew me either! Hooray! I am still laughing about "supposebly." I have a coworker who, every time I transfer a call to him (which is my job), makes really rude, sarcastic comments to me. I've never even met him. I'll say, "hey, can i transfer an applyweb support call to you?" and he'll say, "yeah, you can, because that's my job, to take those calls." in this really mean voice. Why does he do it? Coworkers...does your dumb coworker say "Vice-a-Verse-a?" I sure hope so. I am tormenting you with my work-inspired need for human contact. I apologize.

date: 7:09 pm - Thursday,January 3, 2002"

he probably does say "vice-a verse-a", but to be honest, i have never really noticed.

that's because the Co-Worker is entirely too involved in alternately singing contemporary country songs and hard core gangster (gangsta? i don't know, i have to confess that other than a some dre and snoop here and there, my hip hop ears are reserved for the LONS/tribe/de la/mos def/digital underground/bdp/etc etc etc side of things) rap. i think nate dogg is his favorite, but he really likes ice cube too.

and, he is forever, and i mean at least 4 times a days saying two things:

gaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd dammit [in hick voice]

and

you can holla at my dawgs, you can holla at my daaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwgggggggggggggssssssssssssss!!!

still. he is still holla-in' at his dawgs. he has been doing this almost every day for the last 6 months.

oh, and every friday he sings over and over: it's friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday! it's friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday!

like, if this is a reference to something, i'm not getting it.

oh, and when you say "thank you very much", he replies "you're welcome very little".

which sucks, because i am all about being polite to people i work with.

additionally, he will jump in and out of my cubicle randomly, sometimes stabbing the cubicle wall with a letter opener.

also, he waters the plant which sits way up on the cabinet that separates the tops of our cubes, talking to it lovingly and calling it "creepy" and then telling it i hate it because i never water it.

but, he's about a foot taller than me and to be honest, i could care less if Creepy gets watered or not, i am not climbing up on my desk to pour water in that thing.

ironically, Creepy has crept only into my cubicle, it's long arms hanging over my monitor and almost down to the floor. i might add that my cubicle is away from the sunlight. this only adds to that which morrissey was alluding to in his mediocre-but-new-stalker-song-replacing-"every breath you take"-by-the-police-as-inspiration "the more you ignore me, the closer i get". or something.

point is, the guy is always up in my shiz.

oh, and he REALLY REALLY likes limp bizkit and all those bands. and he DOESN'T like johnny cash or patsy cline OR THE BEATLES because they are

and i quote

"not from my time".

the dumbing down of america, i tell you people. the dumbing down of america.

i work with one of its products every day.

oh, did i mention that the Co-Worker baby talks with one of my bosses?

yeah, in case you were wondering, i do have bags to puke into in my desk drawer.