2003-09-03 & 8:35 p.m. : we don't have to think like that anymore

i fly out tomorrow, first to los angeles, then to nyc.

i'm not sure why i feel so overwhelmed and sad.

i mean, obviously it's sad that my grandmother died, but i didn't have a close relationship to her at all.

and my father is stable again and back home, not well, but status quo i guess.

i can't imagine going back to work next wednesday. i can't imagine rejoining normal life.

i don't understand why, either.