i don't think i should be behind the wheel, so that probably indicates i shouldn't be behind the terminal.

but i didn't want to be alone anymore, it was so lonely in my apt. i just had to be around people.

my friend's going to take me home, which is really nice of her.

i have a feeling that i might not make it tomorrow. i'm trying to keep my head up but my chest hurts so bad and my eyes are swollen and sore and my head is going to fall off.

we'll see how i feel when i wake up.

i can't afford to take a cab again, though, that's for sure.

lying cab companies can suck my diseased penis. if i had a penis.

and it was diseased.

meanwhile, it looks positively london outside, all wet and foggy and muddy grey.

no snow yet!

maybe i'll get lucky and it won't snow until this weekend, when i don't have to actually go anywhere if i don't want.

oh, and it looks like my poor brother didn't get the money he thought he would, so he can't send me money to move but all of a sudden my mom's stepped up and said she'll help me even if she has to sell a kidney, which she won't, so i guess i'm moving?

i don't know. i can't breathe. the seattle/bay area dilemma can wait. the more i hear about seattle, though, the more it sounds great. i am so stinking torn.

i just can't shake the idea of adventure, i think. i mean, sure, this adventured sucked. but am i really ready to go back to the bay? i really don't know.