because it has been so cold, i haven't pulled back my curtains to open my windows in quite some time.
this morning, it was so muggy and nast in my house that i thought i would let in a little air...so i pull back my beautiful handmade curtains to find that
OH MY GOD
there is mildew on my windowsill (sil? sill? what the fuck?)
that is so gross. one of my windows is swollen shut from the dampness in my house. what the hell is this house?
i can't wait to move, i talked to jamie about it for almost an hour this morning. afternoon. whatever.
i'm probably going to have to sell my bed before i move. this makes me so sad, i love my bed like whoah. i paid for it cash, though, thank god, so it's not like i will still be paying for it while i go to buy a new bed.
blowjobs.
i had coffee when i woke up this morning for the first time in a couple of weeks. lately, i have been having hot chocolate on the way to work (small, no whipped cream, no chocolate sprinkles). i cannot explain to you how good it tastes to have hot chocolate and a vanilla cigarette.
it's some kind of heaven on earth, i'll tell you this much.
so i am sitting here listening to "i wanna sex you up" by color me badd and it occurs to me that i have been in some sort of serious musical rut lately. if i am not listening to misfits and cruising myself, then i am listening to gybe and being pensive.
thank god for bad(d) mp3s and this, or else i'd be in real danger.
not that the misfits/cruising myself deal is so bad, but i swear the pensive shit gets realy tiring.
my washing machine is running, and the whole house is shaking because of it. i swear to god one day that thing is going to lift off and shoot itself through the roof, into outerspace.
and then we'll all laugh and laugh.
oh! by the way, i am going to a dinner party in my house again tonight. these things FREAK ME OUT, but i guess i should be social?
fuck, i wish i had more friends of my own around here. i could go out and escape or something.
i guess if it's really bad i can always come in here and just pretend to feel shitty or something and hide.
i vaguely remember having social skills.
oh and lastly, best friend:
MOTHER!
